Dear Harlan,

I've been working together with this guy for about a year. After a summer apart, we started to go on a few "dates." He even made me dinner at his apartment several times. I became kind of hopeful we could be a couple and asked if he wanted to take our friendship to a higher level. He said "no" and that he's not interested. And yet, I'm hopeful that he is just shy and doesn't want to admit his real feelings. Am I wasting my time?

Patiently Hoping

 

Dear Patiently Hoping,

Stop making excuses for why he's not interested and forget about persuading him to want you. You told him you like him. When he's tired of dating girls not as good as you or when he's in a better place to date (he might be dealing with personal issues that make this the wrong time to date you), he knows you like him. Tell him that you respect that he's not interested in being more than friends, but if you're single in the future, he's always welcome to give you a call. Keep the door open, but don't stand around waiting for him to come knocking.

 

 

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