Dear Harlan,

A few weeks ago, I broke up with my long-distance boyfriend due to communication issues. He'd contact me maybe once a week, and I felt very alone/neglected. I didn't really explain that to him. I just broke up with him impulsively. It's been a few weeks, and we've started talking again. I know he still has feelings for me, and he's actually making an effort and in communicating regularly with me. I think I made the wrong decision. I know the breakup was probably unexpected and damaged the trust between us. I want to try again, but I'm really not sure how to go about it, or if I should even try. Would it be hurtful to him? Should I just wait and see if he brings it up? Or should I just bring it up myself? I just don't really have any guy friends, and would like a male perspective.

Distant

 

Dear Distant,

He doesn't seem to be the one with the communication problem. Hurting someone because you've been hurt just makes two people hurt. And that's how I'd start this conversation with him, apologizing for breaking up with him so abruptly. Admit that you made a mistake. Explain why you broke up and why you want to get back together. Ask him if he can give you what you need. You might discover that he can't give you what you want. But until you communicate, you'll never figure it out.