Dear Harlan,

I have had a really horrible first semester of college. I mean awful. I started my freshman year at the University of Kansas this past August with the highest intention of having a traditional freshman year. I was so excited about having a roommate and getting to know her and becoming great friends. The first week I came to find out that she is bipolar and all kinds of other crazy. To make a long story short, on the day we moved in, she invited her boyfriend to our room, and had sex with him while I was trying to sleep. Next, she posted Facebook statuses about me while I was two feet away from her. Then, she regularly verbally attacked me. It got so bad that I became clinically and severely depressed. I was so sad that all I wanted to do was die. Thankfully, I have an amazing support system - my mom. It got better and, after a semester of torture, I moved to another room on the same floor. So far, my new roommate of two weeks and I are doing fantastic. So, here is where I need help: I'm on holiday break. When I think about going back, I literally feel sick. I don't have a reason to be scared or upset. I just feel like my dream school has been jaded. I want your thoughts - I'm dreading the end of break and having to go back. Should I go back?

Completely Confused

 

Dear Confused,

What I see is someone who had an incredibly rich and meaningful first semester in college. Forget about what you wanted or expected. This situation helped you get to know yourself in a way you never imagined. Yes, it was painful and scary, and no one would want to go through this, but you did. The experience still is too close for you to see the value, but if you can make it through this, you can make it through anything. Go back to school knowing how and where to get support if the depression resurfaces. If you still don't have the experience you desire, then transfer next year. Trust that the toughest time is behind you and the best is ahead. Besides, basketball season at Kansas is way better than football season.