Dear Harlan,

I met "P" at my best friend's wedding. I'm 26, and he is 37. He called after the wedding, and we started dating and doing fun things together. I wanted to go to a New Year's party - dinner, hear a band - that happened to be held at a major hotel downtown. It was great except for the guy I was with! He got very silent, and said we were the only two people not staying overnight. Then he went to the bar and got a drink. He knew we were not staying overnight when we made the plans, and he had never ordered a drink before. To top it off, he sent a check for just HIS portion of the dinner/party - since I had made the reservation on my charge card. I wanted to hear your perspective.

Doubting

Dear Doubting,

What he didn't tell you is that he secretly booked the fantasy suite at the hotel for you to get some surprise New Year's nookie. When he sensed you wouldn't be into the fantasy suite, he tried to cancel the room, but couldn't get his money back. That's when he came back into the party room, ordered a drink and decided to only pay for his portion of the night (you cost him too much already). Either that or he's an immature man who's finished with you. I'd stop guessing and call to make plans to see him (no, don't text him). Ask him point-blank what happened. Forget letting him hide. Find out what happened and tell him that you were confused by his actions. See if he has the courage to be honest. Once you know the truth, you can move on and put your energy into someone who deserves it.