Dear Harlan,
There's a girl I'm interested in getting to know better. The problem is that she has a lot of hickeys on a regular basis. If a girl has hickeys on her neck, how much does it detract from her appeal to other potential male partners?    

Marked

Dear Marked,
Girls who have hickeys either like to have their necks sucked, have birthmarks resembling hickeys or have a medical condition. Before assuming she's got a "Twilight" fetish and is into neck bruises, assume there's another explanation. If you have the chance to suck her neck, this means you should be intimate enough and close enough to her ear to ask her about her hickeys. If she isn't comfortable offering you an explanation or you're not comfortable enough to ask, that's a sign you shouldn't be sucking her neck. Should you talk to her about this, you might be surprised to find out that it's a birthmark that she tries to cover with makeup, and not a vampire fetish.