Dear Harlan,

I'm a freshman at a large university. A lot of my friends go and get drunk at parties every week and have drunken hook-ups. I'm looking for more sober connections because I think I'd be happier that way. I don't know if that means finding a girl(s) to hook up with sober or committing myself to a relationship. Which is more appropriate for a freshman in my situation? What do I do?

Sober Student

Dear Sober Student,

Do your hooking up during the day.  There's this illusion that hooking up only happens at night with alcohol flowing and deafening music playing. Wrong! Sober hooking up happen during daylight hours. The world is teeming with sober women looking for sober hook-ups in well-lit rooms without a deafening beat. Considering that most women are sober during the day (one should hope), they are easiest to find when the sun is up. At night, they tend to stay inside or blend into the crowd at parties. And a lot of them at these drunken parties would gladly hang out with a sober guy, given the option. Get to know women in class, after class, in the dining hall, at the library, in campus clubs and via organizations (spiritual ones are great for picking up dates). Ask them to hang out at night, plan a study date, grab dinner or watch a movie in your room together. Play to your strengths and put yourself in rooms with sober women. Not only will you be shocked with the positive results, you'll be shocked to see what your hook-ups really look like