Dear Harlan,

My roommate and I used to get along really well - that is, until one day I quit the student-council board we were on. Then she just got mad and started slamming doors. She won't even stay in the room with me. She'll see I'm here and just grab her stuff and leave. What can I do? I need to talk to her, but I don't know how.

Blessed Be

Dear Blessed Be,

She either hates doors or she hates you. Find out what happened. Make sure you approach the situation with an understanding and appreciation that she might not want to get along anymore. Give her permission to be your silent roommate. This will help you stay cool and avoid letting your emotions get in the way. Next time you see her, ask her if she can talk for a second. If she slams the door, enjoy having the room to yourself. When she returns, explain that you really do want to get along, and you get the feeling something is making her uncomfortable. If she continues to give you the silent treatment, tell her you understand and give her permission to be silent and immature. Then enjoy the silence. In fact, feel free to use her as a sounding board. Silent roommates make for the best listeners.