Dear Harlan,

 What would be the most appropriate way to approach someone that you like, but everyone around you dislikes?  There's someone I want to get to know better, but I'm concerned what everyone will think and how this will reflect on me.

Breaking Out

Dear Breaking Out,

Assuming the person being disliked isn't a drug dealer, a pimp or a prostitute, and all your friends dislike this person because they are afraid of getting caught up in a transaction gone bad, I wouldn't worry about anyone who dislikes this person. If there's no good reason to dislike this person, there's no good reason to worry what other people think. Here's what's makes this tricky - people who dislike other people for no reason tend to be the most insecure and uncomfortable people (making fun of someone can be a terrific way for insecure people to bond). Targeting someone else means not being a target. When you're uncomfortable, it's all about creating drama about other people. Liking this person might make you a new target. What's also tricky is that the person being disliked might be an amazing person. But it's impossible to get to know the person being disliked because he or she is always running and deflecting. Meaning, it's hard to show your best qualities when you're always hiding, dodging and defending yourself from attacks. Luckily, there will always be people like you.  Do yourself a favor and get to know this person. Make it a friendship. Make sure you have another group of friends in case your "good friends" can't handle you being an independent thinker. Get to know this person better. Let the people who dislike this person get to know this person through you. Who knows, you might be able to help your friends see that this person is very likable. Maybe they'll even apologize.