Dear Harlan,

I'm having a problem with my roommate that I didn't know I had until now. My roommate left out a notepad that was like a journal; it was open to a page that was headed with "roommate." I know what I did was wrong, but I could not take not knowing. While reading, I figured out that he really doesn't like me a whole lot, or to hang out with his friends either. While we are in the same room, none of this shows and it doesn't seem like what was written is true. Please help. I need advice on what to do. 

Surprised

Dear Surprised,

The truth? He might not want to be your friend. But do you blame him? You read the guy's journal - not cool. If you did this, I can only imagine what else you've done. Here's what I think - you assumed he was a friend and treated him like a friend. But he was never your friend. He felt bad and didn't want to cause a problem or hurt your feelings, so he kept it a secret. But you found out. Want to fix this? Stop trying to be his friend. Be his roommate. Find friends in other places. Give him permission to not be your friend. Don't hate him. Just give him space. He might not want new friends. The moment you back off and stop depending on him to be your friend is the moment you will have a better chance of getting along with him and eventually becoming friends