Dear Harlan

This isn't about my roommate - it's about my roommate and her mother. My roommate and I get along really well. However, it seems like her mom comes into the dorm every other day. Yesterday, she brought in some guy who, smelling strongly of pot, whom she tried to hook her daughter up with. Her mom also makes my roommate tell her everything. Normally, I wouldn't complain about this, but now my roommates started telling her mom personal stuff about me, like how I'm on the pill and use tampons instead of pads. And then I get lectured by this lady about having sex and using tampons and dying from some odd disease as a result. I know it's good to have a good relationship with your parents, but I honestly don't think I'll last a month here if my roommie keeps telling her mom about every move I make.

Going Insane

Dear Going Insane,

What a loving mom! Luckily, she's not yours. If your roommate is being forced to tell her mom everything, then you can choose to tell your roommate nothing, make up stuff for her to share (that could be fun) or ask her to keep your secrets a secret. As for the frequent visits, your roommate might not like her mom's visits any more than you. Find out. Ask your roommate how she feels about her mom visiting. If she's not happy with the visits, suggest that she tell her mom that her tampon-wearing, pill-popping roommate is uncomfortable with her coming over so frequently. It's a lot easier for a daughter to blame it on the roommate than to say: "MOM! LEAVE ME ALONE!" Sure, this might not exactly be the truth, but you don't need your roommate's mom to like you or lecture you. If your roommate loves her mom's visits, leave the room when her mom enters and make sure to leave your tampons and pills out (just for fun).