News from PA Psychological Association

Welcome...
This past fall, an experiment called Unplugged that took place on 5 continents (Africa, Asia, Europe, North and South America) found that going without any kind of media for only 1 day created "withdrawal symptoms and feelings of isolation." This edition of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association's E-newsletter focuses on the Interaction of People and Electronic Media.

Please let us know if you find this information helpful by sending an e-mail to our E-Newsletter Committee at mevans@papsy.org.

We welcome your comments.

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Pauline Wallin

Too Much Web Surfing

Impairs Focus

Pauline Wallin, Ph.D.

Have you noticed lately, that it's getting harder and harder to sit down and focus on reading a book for an hour, or even 15 minutes?

According to author Nicholas Carr, the Internet is to blame. In his book, The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains, Carr outlines research showing the impact of web surfing and multitasking on brain functions. He concludes that we have become so accustomed to the constant stream of information from online activities that our brains are actually getting rewired for distractibility.

We are processing more information than ever before. With a click of a button we can get the latest news and weather, shop for just about anything, read movie reviews, and engage in dozens of other information-gathering tasks--all within a few minutes.

But rarely do we stop and reflect on what we read online. Eye-tracking studies have shown that the average time spent on a web page is less than five seconds--enough to read 18 words at most.

In between web surfing, we check e-mail, answer text messages, update our Facebook page and respond to popup windows urging us to update our software. Our minds are constantly distracted. No wonder we have trouble focusing!

So what does all this mean for our brains? There is scientific evidence that the more you engage in a given behavioral pattern, the more the brain adapts to it. Thus, if you are used to switching from one task to another in rapid succession, your brain is going to make it easier and more efficient for you to do so--but at a price. That price is greater distractibility and less capacity for deep reflection and creativity.

Is this permanent? Fortunately, no. Your capacity for deep thinking is not lost; it's just dormant. To get it back, it's not necessary to unplug completely from the Internet. But you do need to plan ahead and exercise self-control. Here are some tips:

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Digital Media Addiction:

What Parents Can Do

Kimberly S. Young, Psy.D.

This is the age of Generation Share as they are called. They need to stay connected, sharing, every moment of every day. One 17-year-old female I treated had been in five car accidents because she could not stop texting. After the first accident, her parents threatened to take away her cell phone. In the fourth accident, she had totaled the car because she was texting along a highway at 70 mph only to let her friend know that she was running a few minutes late. After the fifth incident, the teen was hospitalized in serious condition. The police found the cell phone still in her hand when they arrived.

Online access is a vital part of our lives, yet addictive use has significant consequences. Brain studies show multitasking has created an attention-deficit culture, and parents are concerned about how much their children immerse themselves into their virtual lives at the expense of their real lives.

Warning signs

Like addiction to drugs and alcohol, digital media addiction is marked by symptoms of increasing tolerance, withdrawal, mood changes, and interruption of social relationships. Children and adolescents who have become addicted show several warning signs:

Losing track of time while online
Sacrificing needed hours of sleep to spend time online
Becoming agitated or angry when online use is interrupted
Checking Facebook, Twitter, and texts constantly
Ignoring homework or chores to spend every free minute online
Preferring virtual relationships over face-to-face relationships
Disobeying time limits that have been set for digital media usage
Lying about amount of time spent using digital media
Feeling preoccupied with digital media and constantly multitasking
Losing interest in offline activities to use more digital media
Becoming irritable, moody or depressed when not online

Continued...

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Cyber-bullying: What You Need to Know

Gail Cabral, IHM, Ph.D.

A Rutgers University student commits suicide after his sexual activity is videoed and posted online. A high school student kills herself after being bullied online by schoolmates. Such stories frighten us. Is cyber-bullying radically different from "regular" bullying? As parents, educators, and citizens, what should we be doing?

How is cyber-bullying different from regular bullying?

Cyber-bullying is anonymous. Most of the time cyber-bullies are known but not always. Targets may know it is a classmate or friend, but not exactly who. This anonymity leads to more uncertainty and frustration for the target. Because cyber-bullies feel invisible, they dare to harass, demean, or insult. In addition, the bully does not see directly the harm that is done. There is no troubled face or voice responding; there is no direct retaliation.

Cyber-bullying can seem like it is everywhere. There seems no escape for the victim. For the target, arriving home provides no relief. The Internet and the cell phone are there. Also the extent to which others are viewing or reading the material is unknown.

What to do if you are cyber-bullied

Unplug. Stop looking at the hurtful material. Remove the cyber-bully from your friend list. Change e-mail address, or your account, preventing further messages. Change friends or friendship groups. As Williard puts it in a Student Guide to Cyber-bullying, don't "waste time trying to be friends with mean people."
Save the evidence. This doesn't mean you will report the incidents, but it means if you decide to do so, you will have the necessary material.
Do not retaliate!
Take the time to choose how you wish to respond.

Continued...

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Palmiter, David

Keeping Your Child Safe

in an Electronic World

David J. Palmiter, Jr., Ph.D., ABPP

Many of us parents feel overwhelmed by the prospect of monitoring our child's use of electronic media. These technologies can feel unfamiliar and difficult to monitor; it can also feel exhausting to deal with a child who, upon our efforts to monitor, acts like he is being deprived of oxygen. This article addresses common questions that come up when a parent tries to monitor a child's use of electronic media.

Should I be limiting how much time my child spends plugged into sedentary electronic pleasures?

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends limiting such activity to two hours a day. While there may be reasons why you might want to deviate from this guideline, children spending more than two hours a day in this way may be compromising other important agendas (e.g., engaging in physical activity, studying for tests, reading).

How can I control what my child views online?

Many web browsers have parent controls (e.g., Safari for the Mac) while others are designed specifically for parents who wish to safeguard their child's Internet experience (e.g., www.freeverse.com/mac/product/?id=5003 ). Just make sure that your child does not have access to other browsers on the computer and does not have the capacity to install software (i.e., see the parental controls in the preferences/settings portion of your computer's system software). There are also programs that will allow you to monitor how your child uses the computer (e.g., www.spectorpro.com), regulate how much time is spent using it (e.g., www.kidswatch.com) or offer an assortment of protections (e.g., www.webwatchernow.com and www.cybersitter.com). Keeping the computer in a public area in your residence can also help.

How can I control what my child sees online through other devices such as cell phones and portable game players?

Some of these devices have options for parental control while others do not. Look in the manual for the device (usually available online, too) or in the device's preferences or settings. If the parental controls are missing or porous, just arrange to have the Internet access turned off.

Even what you've said so far is confusing to me from a technological perspective. What can I do?

You can ask a tech savvy young adult or friend to set controls up for you. If you feel awkward asking for a favor, you could always offer a gift card in exchange.

My kid complains that I don't trust him when I put controls in place. Am I hurting our relationship?

We would not let our child lose in a city and let him go wherever he wishes, even if he asserted that our restrictions mean that we do not trust him. The same thing applies with the electronic world. For instance, one recent study found that 42% of kids indicated that they had viewed pornography online, with two-thirds saying it was unwanted. It's our child's job to seek independence; it's our job to monitor.

Doesn't a monitoring agenda compete against an agenda of promoting independence and adaptive decision-making skills?

There is tension between these two important agendas. If I monitor too little, my child may be walking in a minefield. If I over-monitor my child may not learn how to be as effective in the world. We strive for the middle ground. Moreover, we are always looking for signs of whether or not our child is handling the freedoms we allow. If she is,over time, we can consider loosening the reins. If she isn't we can consider tightening them.

Do you have any closing suggestions?

Yes:

√ Use the parent controls available from most TV cable and satellite providers.

√ Check for information on the media your child wishes to use. Help can be found at websites like these: www.tvguidelines.org, www.esrb.org/about/resources.jsp and www.commonsensemedia.org.

√ Check your child's music player to make sure that she is not listening to content that you believe is inappropriate. For instance, the computer program iTunes will put the word "explicit" next to songs with language akin to what would be found in an R-rated movie. (There is almost always a "clean" version of the song.)

√ Allow your child to have a presence on social networking sites only if you can intermittently check what's going on, and make sure he doesn't have two pages: one for you and one for his friends.

√ Talk with parents of any children your child is visiting regarding your and their ratings standards.

√ Consider hiring the services of a well trained mental health professional if you need help. For referrals in Pennsylvania, go to www.psychologycanhelp.com. For referrals elsewhere click here.

A practicing psychologist, Dr. Palmiter is PPA's Communications Board chair and a psychology professor at Marywood University in Scranton, PA. His blog is at

www.hecticparents.com and his Twitter ID is @HelpingParents. His book, Working Parents, Thriving Families: 10 Strategies that Make a Difference, will be published in April 2011 by Sunrise River Press.

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Too Much Web Surfing, continued...

Take scheduled breaks from the Internet - Walk away from your computer and turn off data reception on your mobile device for at least 30 minutes. During your break do something that relaxes your mind, such as talking to a friend, exercising, or listening to music--whatever helps you to decompress.
Make time for nature. If you can't get outside, water your plants or look through some photos of the outdoors. Studies have shown that doing so can improve your concentration and attentiveness afterward.
When doing work at your computer, close your e-mail program and your browser. Removing distractions makes it easier to stick to your task.
Set a quota for online activities such as checking e-mail or Facebook. For example, limit such things to once per hour, or as a reward for completing a work-related task.
If you have trouble sticking to your promises to yourself, unplug your modem or get a program that locks you out of the Internet for a designated period of time.

References:

Carr, N. (2010) The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains. New York: W.W. Norton & Company Inc.

Pauline Wallin, Ph.D., is a psychologist in Camp Hill, PA. http://drwallin.com She is president of the American Psychological Association Division of Media Psychology and a columnist for Body & Mind magazine.

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Digital Media Addiction, continued...

What can parents do:

As the addiction develops, children may experience symptoms of withdrawal, which include anxiety, depression, irritability, trembling hands, restlessness and obsessive thinking about using the Internet and digital media. Relationships in the real world are often neglected as those in the virtual world increase in importance. Academic performance is also likely to suffer.

Parents who suspect a child may be addicted need a carefully planned approach to communicate their concerns. To intervene effectively, parents need to use non-blaming language and listen empathetically to their child's response. However, the challenge of communicating with children about digital media addiction is a sensitive issue requiring special considerations.

Present a united front--It is critical that both parents take the issue seriously and agree on common goals. If you do not, your child will appeal to the more skeptical parent and create division between you.
Show your caring--It will help to begin your discussion by reminding your child that you love him or her and that you care about their happiness and well being. Children often interpret any question about their behavior as blaming and criticism. Rather, tell your child you are concerned about some of the changes you have seen in them when using digital media or the Internet and refer to those changes in specific terms: fatigue, declining grades, giving up hobbies, social withdrawal, etc.
Assign an Internet time log--Tell your child that you would like to see an accounting of just how much time they spend online each day and which Internet activities they engage in. Remind them that with television you can monitor their viewing habits more easily, but with the Internet (especially with iPhones, BlackBerries, and Droids) you need their help and cooperation to become appropriately involved. Put them on the honor system to keep the log themselves for a week or two to build trust between you. If they balk at this idea or clearly lie in their log, you may be dealing with their denial of addiction.
Set reasonable rules - Many parents get angry when they see the signs of addiction in their child and take the computer away as a form of punishment. Others become frightened and force their child to quit cold turkey, believing that is the only way to get rid of the problem. Both approaches invite trouble--your child will internalize the message that they are bad, they will look at you as the enemy instead of an ally, and they will suffer real withdrawal symptoms of nervousness, anger, and irritability. Instead, work with your child to establish clear boundaries of limited online usage. Stick to your rules and remember that you are not simply trying to control--you are working to free them of a psychological dependence.
Make the computer visible - If your child accesses the home computer through a laptop or desktop move it out of his or her bedroom and into the more visible kitchen or dining area. You do not want to stare over the child's shoulders every minute the child is using it, but by walking by now and then in your normal home activities you send the message that the Internet is not something they use on the sly.
Encourage other activities - When you cut down your child's Internet time, he or she will be looking for something to do, not only to fill in the hours but to achieve a comparable "high." Help him or her find alternative endeavors, whether it be something they used to enjoy or something new, like rock climbing. Talk to them about what they most enjoy on the Internet so you can steer them toward a healthy alternative. If they especially enjoyed taking on many different characters online, encourage them to go out for the school play. And remind them that they still can have the same fun on the Internet--only within limits.
Support, don't enable - Parents often fall into an enabling role with an Internet-addicted child. They cover up or make excuses for their children when they miss school or fail to meet deadlines, and in the name of keeping peace they give in to their children's demands when they complain loudly. If your child does rebel against your intervention efforts, let the first storm subside. Acknowledge their feelings--it must not be easy for them to feel that you're tugging at their only lifeline--but stick to your goals. Validate them for any effort they're making to work with you. Remind them that other kids have had problems with the Internet and that they found a new way, and that you support them in making these difficult changes.
Use outside resources when needed - If your child is unable to moderate his or her Internet usage and the initial problems persist, along with new hostility in your relationship with them, it's best to seek outside help. You might consult with a child psychologist or visit a local alcohol and drug treatment program to gather more information about addictions. School counselors can also help alert you to your child's behavior at school. Ultimately, family therapy may be your best bet to help guide your child's recovery, address family strife, and heal wounds old and new.

Dr. Young is a psychologist, Executive Director of the Center for Online Addiction (www.netaddiction.com) in Bradford, PA, and teaches at St. Bonaventure University in New York.

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Cyber-bullying , continued...

What should a parent do? Not do?

Don't be dismissive or ignore the situation if your child speaks about negative interactions of any kind.

Don't take away all communication privileges! Don't cut off computer or phone access or threaten to. Teens are even more unlikely to tell parents about cyber-bullying if they fear having their use of technology curtailed. Understand technology is part of their social lives.

Do keep communication open. Listen carefully. Get as much information as you can, including your child's part in the interactions. We have discovered that there are "bully-victims" whose behaviors may set up reactive patterns.

Choose your response carefully. Not every instance of cyber-bullying is equally serious. Sometimes cyber-bullying is less threatening, and similar to the teasing/put-downs used by teenagers to feel "funny, smart and popular."

You may help your child to evaluate the benefits of remaining or leaving a particular online community. If your child is a teenager, help him or her to figure out the best response: calmly telling the bully to stop, recognizing when to leave a site, or recognizing when to get outside help.

In more serious situations, parents should:

Save all e-mail and text messages, and download all web pages
Identify the cyber-bully through your Internet service provider (ISP)
File a complaint with the ISP, web site, or phone company
Contact your child's school, the cyber-bully's parent, an attorney, or the police.

Reference

Willard, N. (2007). Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats: Responding to the Challenge of Online Social Aggression, Threats, and Distress. Champaign, IL: Research Press.

Websites

http://cyberbully.org/

http://www.stompoutbullying.org/

Sr. Gail Cabral, IHM, Ph.D., professor of psychology, is a developmental psychologist, licensed in Pennsylvania. She teaches at Marywood University. Her research interests include friendship, peer relationships, bullying and cyber-bullying behaviors, and the relationship of spirituality and psychology.

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