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Self Talk is Your Coach |
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Your self talk is your coach. You tend to respond to its suggestions.
You feel better about yourself and others feel better about you when you think and speak uplifting thoughts. The words you think and say tend to manifest themselves over time.
The mind receives whatever you tell it as a goal (or truth) and starts the process of attracting it into your life. Dwelling on negative thoughts and speaking what you do not want continually is received by your mind as a goal. It works on bringing the instruction you give it. Belief and verbalization become your reality whether positive or negative. Many books have been written on "What you say is what you get". It's true; thoughts, words, and acts are seeds that grow into what you plant.
You may feel an inner resistance to persistently thinking and saying what you want from others because it may be the opposite of what you are experiencing. For example, let's say you want a good relationship with Jim but you continually experience conflict and resentment from him. It is hard to affirm "Jim and I have a great relationship" when he is always on your case.
Keep affirming what you want (a good relationship) and eventually the way will present itself to have a more positive relationship. You will be surprised when out of the blue he starts talking to you and reveals a lot of his insecurities with the company. After listening for a while, you may sense that he doesn't have any angst against you after all; he has some serious issues with company policies. You discover that his conflict is not with you, much to your delight.
The resolution to changing the situation has its roots in the affirmation "Jim and I have a great relationship." Be determined to voice the affirmation no matter what you are experiencing. Eventually the tide turns in your favor. |
| Three Tips for Training Your Inner Coach |
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Here are three tips for training your inner coach:
1. Get accountability partner to help you create new habits. Our old habits are working against us and new ones must be formed. Tell the accountability partner what you want to have happen and ask them to hold you to it. For example, in order to have a better relationship with a certain co-worker, you may need to polish up on being on time. Commit to your accountability partner that you will determine a time that you must leave in order to be at another place on time. The accountability partner routinely asks how you're doing in regards to setting a time and leaving at that time. Eventually you will form the new habit of being on time. Your inner coach reminds you that you can do it.
2. Write yourself an uplifting note.The format is:
- Use your name
- AFFIRM your competence.
- State what you want to happen.
- State benefits the other side will receive.
- Insert a catchy phrase that pays: i.e. "2009 is a gold mine"
Here is an example of a note I read to myself:
"Jim, you have been training and consulting for over 23 years. You have a lot of practical experience. You have multiple certifications. You love training and helping people. Your students will receive the very best you have and their staff will be much better for it. You have power, love and discipline in all that you do. Just remember in training more is caught than taught. You are a winner, Jim!"
(I prefer to write it out and put on my desk so I see it a few days in advance of a presentation).
3. Give yourself a pep talk on your voice mail. The above written technique can also be used with your voicemail. Give yourself an uplifting message on your voicemail and listen in a couple days later. Even though you know what was said, you will feel the encouragement. |
| Affirm Your Relationship Needs |
The mind is susceptible to whatever it receives and perceives. The biggest hurdle to vault is to allow yourself to want to be better. After allowing yourself to want something, your inner coach reminds you that it is possible through affirmation.
Affirm your relationship needs consistently and experience success in the fulfillment realm. It happens because you will get into a heart to heart discussion and negotiate what you want. The other person does the same with you. You are now up and over your hurdle. The next "relationship tension" hurdle will not be as difficult because you know what to do. |
Until next month, communicate, relate and prosper everyday.
Merry Christmas!
Jim Rooney, CPBA (Certified Professional Behavior Analyst)
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