News from Delco Road Running Club

Runner's World - By Kristen Armstrong

My Bible Study is currently working through a book and study guide called Fearless by Max Lucado. I have thought often and deeply about the subjects of fear and courage, and have explored both in my writing and speaking. When our group first started digging into the study, I knew the timing was perfect for each of us in different ways.

Our discussion this week was about worry, basically how we are plagued with it. Jena was leading and she handed out a sheet of paper to each one of us with the instruction to write down everything we were currently worried about. The room got quiet. My pen seemed to take on a life of its own, churning across the lined page listing one thing after another. Balls I could drop, ways I could disappoint, things that could fall through the cracks, moments I could miss, needs I could neglect, to-do's I could forget, areas where I could fall short. And I thought I wasn't too much of a worrier when I first read the chapter! Ha. My own list proved that just beneath the surface, my concerns were creating a current all their own-possibly causing me to drift.

One friend confessed that she was fearful about dropping balls she didn't even know she was supposed to be juggling. Another about having so many balls in the air that she was afraid that if she lost focus, even for a moment, something serious would go wrong. One friend said she often held back from putting herself out there because she dreaded the notion of being seen or being considered a disappointment.

This reminded me of some time I spent recently doing some goals and vision work, (try goaltender at goals.lululemon.com-it's great) imagining my life 10 years out, five years out, and one year out. It was a real mind-opener for me. The site explains that failing to reach your goals 50 percent of the time is a good indication that you are motivated and challenged. That was a "huh?" moment for me. Failing 50 percent of the time to me sounds like I'm not working hard enough. Or perhaps I'm not putting myself out there far enough to risk that 50 percent failure rate. Oh. Maybe I'm more willing to write down goals that sound achievable or are at least in the zip code of my comfort zone.

These thoughts collided at Bible Study and I wrote in all caps across the top of my journal "THE VULNERABILITY OF THE TRY." We all do it in some way, we hold back because to try would expose us, make us vulnerable. When we try something new, make our thoughts or goals known, take on a new project or a position of leadership, we become vulnerable. Suddenly, it is stated, for the record, that (fill in your name) is trying (fill in the thing).

I'm a writer so I try to put meaningful words out there, with pieces of my heart attached, sometimes they are well received, and sometimes people hate me or laugh at me or pretend to know everything about me and make judgments behind the binoculars of afar and anonymous. I'm a speaker, so I try to craft a message that matters. Sometimes people connect and relate, sometimes people get up and walk out. I'm a mother, so I try to cultivate the character of my children. Sometimes my words are met with understanding and respect, and other times I just get an eyeroll. In every case, I have to be okay enough to be my same self and continue to write and speak words with pieces of my heart attached. I have to be bold enough to keep trying.

I looked at my calendar for the upcoming week and tallied up my TRY. I am going to try to mother my three children, ideally well. I have a date with someone I actually really like, and I'm going to try to be myself and be open. I am helping Luke's teacher with a writing lesson, and I'm going to try to translate my love of words into something that resonates and roots in fifth grade minds. I'm stepping up and out and leading a boys' Bible Study, and I'm going to try not to get hung up on the fact that I'm not a teacher and just go from the heart. I'm giving a speech, and I'm going to try to give less energy to anxiety and more energy to my audience.

Oh, and I'm running a marathon. And I'm going to try to qualify for Boston...maybe even run a smidge, or a stretch, faster than I have ever run one before.

What about you? What are you trying to do or become these days? And how are you making peace with the vulnerability of the try?
Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.

Let it be stated, for the record, that (fill in your name) is trying (fill in the thing).