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March 2010
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Vol 1, Issue 3
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Fresh Vision
for homeschooling excellence.
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Greetings!
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How did it get to be mid-March already? Spring is a-comin', and I know that most of us are very excited to know that the spring bulbs will be popping from beneath their leafy havens, and the dogwoods will be bursting forth in just a few weeks, depending on your location, of course. Here in Nashville, the buttercups are already blooming and the crocuses have been peeking out from their winter hiding places. (I have a picture of our first crocuses on my Facebook page.) I can't wait to smell the heady fragrance of my hyacinths as they make their appearance any day now.
Just as the seasons of our world change, so do the seasons of our lives. If you have been a part of my blog, Facebook, Self-Learning Yahoo group, or web site, hopefully you have picked up on the fact that I am pretty darn transparent. A perfect parent I am not. A perfect wife, I am not. I struggle with my own seasons. This month has been especially difficult for me personally as I have come face to face with physical limitations that have incapacitated me. I have been--and am going through--a season in my life where I am forced to take the road less traveled. Not easy for a four-laner like me.
Funny, but when I prayed, "Lord, I want to know you more deeply and trust you more completely," I never expected to experience the ups and downs that have marked this month for me so far. But I have been humbled by those the Lord has sent to minister to me in my illness, including the doctors and especially my dear family and friends. (And the special blessings included your personal notes and Facebook posts as well!) Seeing Jesus in those around us is just beautiful despite the circumstances that bring this to pass. It's kind of like Mary breaking the alabaster jar so that the beautiful fragrance can escape.. Sometimes we must be broken in order for Jesus to seep into our brokenness through the beautiful fragrance of those He sends our way who bear His mark.
In case you haven't noticed, our newsletter is about ten days later than usual. I wasn't sure there would be one in March. However, my dear husband, Tim, graciously saved the day by agreeing to write a piece on his perspective on being a homeschooling dad. I hope you will be blessed by his guest appearance this month. In fact, if you would like to hear more from him on a regular basis or even throw him some questions you'd like to hear his answers to, e-mail me, and I will pass them on to him. Tim has a gentle and quiet manner about him. He has put up with me for 25 years and counting, so you know he has an inner strength. I look forward to him sharing his thoughts with you this month.
Just an FYI: Tim is an integral part of the Self-Learning Adventure Family Bootcamps which our family does, and about which you can read at the end of this newsletter. Often dads are blessed by sharing with other dads, just as we moms love our "mom time" with other moms. The Bootcamps are wonderful opportunities for...well, I'll let you read it for yourself.
I wonder where you are in your life today. Are you also in a "broken" place where the Lord is teaching you to allow Him to gently lead you? Or are you in a vibrant season of ministry to your family and those the Lord has placed around you? Perhaps you are asking, seeking, and knocking...you're in "The Waiting Place," as Dr. Seuss calls it. The good news is that it is all good, not to sound cliche. Everything that for the moment seems nonsensical, the Lord has it all worked out, and He will continue to work it out in His time. He makes ALL things beautiful.
Lest you wonder where the "meat" of homeschooling is in this kinda different format of a newsletter, I want to close by sharing that self-learning students can continue their studies even when mom is sick and dad is busy taking care of mom. We have not skipped a beat of homeschooling simply because the children work independently on any given day with the exception of Lilie, who needs a little help here and there. She is able to get assistance from her older siblings as needed during this time in our family life.
May the Lord bless you and your family richly throughout this beautiful month which heralds the coming of Spring. May righteousness, peace, and joy reign in your hearts as you serve the Risen Lord.
Warmly,
joanne
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A Message from "The Dad"
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by Tim Calderwood
When Joanne asked me if I would be willing to write
a couple of paragraphs about how I see my role in our home school, I realized that
I've never really spent much time thinking about it in terms of a role or set of
tasks or behaviors. It's always just been an extension of who I am.
It's
difficult to separate my role in homeschooling from my role in our family. Maybe
the best way to address the question is to explain as well as I can how I see my
role in our homeschooling family.
While Joanne is definitely the organizer, chief
motivator and nuts and bolts implementer of our childrens' educations, the
outstanding results she has achieved would not have been possible without a
carefully laid foundation, the construction of which began shortly after the
birth of our first child.
- The day I was born, I was given my highest calling . .
. to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul and mind and live to serve
Him.
- The day I was married, I was given my second highest calling, which is
virtually tied into the first one . . . to leave my father and mother, cleave to
my wife and become one.
- The day we had our first child, I was given my
third highest calling, which is completely intertwined with the first two . . .
that of raising up my children in the Way in which they should go.
My main role in our homeschooling family is
quite simply that of husband and father. It has been our desire from the
beginning to have the hearts of our children. In order to implement a
self-teaching method of homeschooling, cheerful, obedient and trustworthy
children are a necessity. This type of attitude starts much earlier in the life
of a child than most people would think.
Obviously it is imperative to laugh
with, love on and play with babies. In our experience however, there has also
been a point very early on, usually between the age of one and two years, where
a child will openly challenge parental authority. It is critical to address this
behavior when it manifests itself. It may take a whole day or maybe two, but
victory over a child's self-will at this point is crucial to a life of
peaceful coexistence with our children.
This behavior has taken on different
flavors and been exhibited in different ways by different children, but it is so
vital that I have missed at least one day of work because a child had refused to
submit at this point and the loving reconciliation to follow had not yet taken
place. I will also say that even if missing work that day would have meant
getting fired, it would have been worth the results! That is what it means to be
a father! That is the priority placed on parenting in our family. I will add
here that one of our children never went through this phase, but the other seven
all did. (Incidentally, the one who never went through this is the only one who
was born at home. I don't know if this is correlation or coincidence, but it is
a fact.)
Once we have broken through this "hedge" of
self-will, it is broken, but not gone forever. It may rear its head again a
time or two over the next weeks or months, but never to the same extent. After
that it's just the daily vigilance and regular maintenance of "weed-pulling."
- It
is impossible to overstate the importance of consistent, loving discipline.
- It
is not normal for brothers and sisters to argue, call each other names, tattle
on each other, or backtalk their parents, despite what we see on TV.
- The
behavior of my children is up to me. I can either punish them if they don't obey
the first time I ask them to do something, or after the third time I ask them to
do something. It just depends on whether I want to have to ask them three times
every time I want something done!
- We have always insisted upon immediate
obedience. If we say something to a child and he/she has acknowledged hearing us
and understanding, we expect obedience without having to bring it up again.
It is also vital to point out here that this
"raising up" of children is an outflow of walking in oneness with my wife.
Children, as they get older, will start to play Mom against Dad sometimes. They
may ask Mom a question and not like the answer, so they go ask Dad the same
question, hoping for a different response. It is sometimes important, before
answering questions, to confer with one's spouse to make sure a response hasn't
already been given. Particularly with young children, if Mom said "No," the
answer is no, or if Dad said, "No," the answer is no. If there is disagreement
between Mom and Dad, Mom and Dad need to go into another room and come to an
agreement before coming back out and presenting the final answer as a "We have
decided" sort of answer.
When a man leaves his father and mother and
cleaves to his wife, the two become one. This "oneness" is not something we have
to strive after and sweat over, it is simply a spiritual fact. It is every
bit as true as the fact that we are all one in the Spirit. We don't have to
agonize over becoming one in Christ Jesus; the Word simply tells that we ARE one
in the Spirit. The same is true in marriage. We ARE one flesh. When I hurt
myself, say cut my finger, my entire body goes into action to come to the aid of
that finger. My other hand may clutch it tightly. I may put it in my mouth to
soothe it. I may go to the medicine cabinet for a Bandaid.
Likewise, when my
wife is struggling or hurting, my first response is to come to her aid. It is
more important than my job or any other calling I may have in this world. In
fact, I sit here and write these words to you because I am not at work today
because my wife is not feeling well. She isn't able to carry the load she
usually carries for the time being, so I am taking that load for her. Because of
FMLA ,my job will still be there when I go back, but if it wasn't, I would still
be here. This is more important than any other job I have right now. If loving
my wife God's way costs me my job, that's God's issue and He will lead us and
provide for us whether through another job or through
supernatural means such as ravens bringing us bread, multiplying loaves and
fish, or sending angels to minister to us.
As I write these paragraphs, it is becoming
clear to me that my role in our homeschooling family is that of follower of
Jesus Christ, lover of my wife, and leader of my children, in that order.
Maintaining a godly atmosphere in our home and a right relationship with the
Lord, my wife and my children is really my full-time job.
Oh yeah, I occasionally
answer a difficult math question, too. |
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Tip of the Month 
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Mix it up! Along with the theme of a change of seasons in this newsletter, I'd like to suggest this month that you go just a little bit wild. Throw educational caution to the wind, and have fun with your children in varied ways! Fun does not mean lacking in educational/physical/mental/spiritual value, right? RIGHT!
- Who says you have to do every subject every day? Enjoy a week of doing just math and reading. That might entail an extra trip to the library, and perhaps give each child the opportunity to research a country that interests him/her and present the family with some highlights on what a trip to that country might look like. Have them plan a imaginary vacation of sorts. Throw math in there for balance.
Note: fill the resulting bit of free time with plenty of time for children to just "be." Try not to fill it with junk time in front of a screen of some variety. Children need time to ruminate with their thoughts and dreams. They may say they are bored, but in truth they often don't understand that what they have is TIME to think and plan and dream and write and meander, and observe nature and....well, you get the point.
- Who says you have to work indoors the way you always do? One of my favorite things to do is to surprise my kids by asking them to pack up their school books and then whisking them away to a park or picnic area where we can hang out for the afternoon, have a picnic, do our work in the sunshine, fresh air, and enjoy the change of scenery. Oh yeah...and play frisbee or fly kites too.
- Who says you can't take a week off and plant a garden, spring clean, or paint the deck? So you get an entire month's worth of P.E. in an entire week? There is nothing like a clean home and finished yard work projects to stimulate creativity and help students and parents get back into the finish-out-the-year-strong mentality!
I know our family has some projects that we will mingle into our school days for which we will legitimately give "school credit" with the completion of the projects. Enjoy the liberty you have as a homeschool family to learn and work side by side in less than traditional ways. I love mixing it up! Give yourself permission to do the same.
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Announcements
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'Tis the season for home education conferences to begin!
Often we are asked if we attend conventions, and the answer is yes, we sometimes do, but there is so much going on at conventions that we found we preferred the intimacy of a smaller event.
Therefore, we have designed a specialized, focused (and fun) bootcamp
for the entire family as a stand-alone event.
Since 2007 the Calderwood family has met personally with other families in groups of varying sizes for warm fellowship and the sharing of unique educational insight for moms, dads, and children.
Yep, we'll come to YOU! (Is that scary?)
Learn How to Raise Life-long Learners with the proven
techniques of the self-teaching and mastery methods of education! Bring Joy back into your
home-educating home! Refresh and Renew Your Spirit! Connect with your spouse and your
children! Seek a vision for your
family! Receive hands-on help in implementing
self-teaching. Hear from Tim and Joanne's homeschool graduates as well as their self-teaching students. This is not scripted! :) Leave a
legacy of learning for your children by giving them the advantage of
possessing a self-learning mindset! Most of all, take advantage of some *set
aside* time to seek the Lord's will for the education of your
children. ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~ . ~
We would be happy to share with you additional information about the workshops that are offered and can be catered to your group's unique interests.
Just send a request for Bootcamp Info to info@URtheMom.com
. We'll e-mail you more detailed information right away. No obligation!
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 Thank you for allowing us into your busy life this month. I always am grateful when folks send us feedback, so feel free to holler at me if you've got some. How can we make this newsletter better? What kinds of topics would you like to see addressed? How can we meet your needs?
I pray that you would enjoy every minute you have together with your sweet family, and I look forward to seeing you in April.
Here's to excellence in home education! Happy Homeschooling!
Warm Regards, Joanne
Joanne Calderwood
www.URtheMom.com
joanne@joannecalderwood.com
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