Events & Offerings 

 Upcoming Events:

March:  

Several days facilitating People Leader Training for BNSF Railway

Workshop, Making the Most of Your Time for a customer service team in Fort Worth, TX 

Keynote Speaker, Women's Retreat, FUMC, Coppell, TX   

April:

Several days facilitating People Leader Training for BNSF Railway     

To order Kathy's book for yourself, your organization, or as a gift, click here:     

Testimonials

"As a women's business council, we experience many presentations during the course of a year. Last year, we benefited from two great presentations by Kathy Light. Both sessions were heartfelt and reality based. We consider ourselves truly blessed to have had her share insights on "Making the Most of Your Time" and "Creating the Business of Your Dreams." We couldn't have been more pleased with the insights and information Kathy shared!"   

Emilia Menthe, Education and Program Manager, Women's Business Council - Southwest 

Ideas to Rock Your World!  

Join Our List

Turning Conflicts into Opportunities   

When you've been coaching leaders and their teams as long as I have, you notice patterns. One pattern I've noticed my entire career is that most people shy away from conflict. Many will do anything they can to avoid it and then hope and pray it goes away. But just because we sweep dust under a rug doesn't mean it is gone. In fact, the longer we leave it there, the more that ball of dust grows. The same is true of conflict.

Most people think conflict is somehow unhealthy and should be avoided. But conflict is all around us. Just put two people in the same room together and there will be conflict. Not screaming and shouting necessarily, but differences of opinion. And 'differences of opinion' is really all that conflict is, at least at its root.  Conflicts only become problematic when they aren't addressed. While it can be difficult to talk about conflicts, not talking about them causes far more damage.

The best leaders proactively look for the conflict that is already out there, and help resolve it in the most productive way. In all healthy relationships, conflicts are aired openly and resolved respectfully. This is true in both one-on-one and group settings. Once you realize the importance of resolving conflicts and develop the skills to air your conflicts openly, not only will you be more productive at work, you will also develop better working relationships as well.

Here are some guidelines to keep in mind:

1. First of all, remember the mission of the organization and the goals of your team. Let's say "serving your clients" is your mission and it requires all team members working together to serve clients most effectively. If so, are you really honoring your commitment to your job and the people you lead if you don't model effective resolution of conflict?
2. When an issue comes up that causes concern or frustration, deal with it as soon as possible. Waiting only magnifies the problem and increases the likelihood of more misunderstanding and resentment, therefore adding unnecessary drama to the situation.
3. Steps to sharing the message in a productive way:

• When sharing your concern about the issue, give the benefit of the doubt and convey positive intentions.
• "John, I know you have a lot on your plate and I hope this won't make you feel defensive. I'm concerned about something that's come up recently and I want to talk it through with you. Is this a good time to talk?"
• Speak in the first person, owning the feedback you are giving. Share facts and behaviors rather than making accusations.
• "It's about the monthly report. I didn't receive your portion until the 5th, and my piece was due to Mary on the 4th, so it was late before I even got to start working on it." (Notice how nothing is said about the other person's motives or intentions, such as "John, I feel like you don't care anymore." You are just dealing with the facts.)
• Share how the situation affected you.
• "It really stresses me out when the report is late because I know it disappoints Mary and it also causes other parts of my work to get delayed."
• Share what you would like to have happen, and work through solutions with the other person.
• "I'd really like to talk about our process so we can make sure this doesn't happen again. Can we do that?"

Developing strong conflict resolution skills isn't easy, but the challenge is absolutely worth the effort. Learning to resolve conflicts will help you avoid the emotional "noise" that exists when people make assumptions, take things personally and question each other's intentions. It will also help you build much stronger relationships by fostering communication in your team that deepens trust.

Kathy

Click here to subscribe to my blog.  

Click here to visit my website.