"The moment one gives close attention to anything, even a blade of grass, it becomes a mysterious, awesome, indescribably magnificent world in itself." - Henry Miller
 
Last month, I discussed the concept of emotional intelligence, often called EQ, and specifically, the competency of Emotional Self-Awareness, which is at the core of our emotional intelligence. I want to say a little more about self-awareness this month, not just from an emotional intelligence perspective, but from a spiritual one as well. Have you ever noticed how often most of us tend to rush from one thing to another, always moving towards the next thing, never really stopping to pause, reflect and enjoy the moment we are in? What if we approached each aspect of our lives as an end unto itself, rather than as a means to some other end? Think how much richer our lives would be if even for just a few minutes each day we could be truly aware.
 
Spring is an amazing time to cultivate awareness because there is so much new life everywhere you look. My morning walks take on a whole new meaning when I stop occasionally to listen to the cardinal's call or to smell the honeysuckle growing along the creek behind our house.
 
I have recently read, and am now re-reading an incredible book called A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose, by Eckhart Tolle. Throughout the book, Tolle writes about letting go of our attachment to ego and form, and experiencing the absolute joy that comes from living in the present and appreciating what is. As Tolle says, "All stress comes from resisting the present moment." If you really think about that statement, you will find it hard to disagree.
 
Practicing emotional self-awareness is a wonderful way to practice living in the present moment. Our emotions are a rich source of information, and if we don't pay attention to them and seek to understand them, we are missing out on the opportunity to use our emotions to help us connect with others, and inspire ourselves to positive action.
 
For many people, the concept of emotional self awareness is not difficult to grasp intellectually, but it is difficult to practice. If you are one of these people, try just simply being aware of what you are doing or what is around you several times during the day, and accepting it for what it is. For example, pay attention to each bite of food as it goes into your mouth, or the feeling of your feet on the pavement, or the sound of someone's voice. Practicing simple awareness is a great warm-up to practicing emotional self-awareness.
 
Practicing awareness of other people's emotions is also a wonderful way to begin developing awareness of your own emotions. When your child is upset about something not going his or her way, for example, try just listening and being aware of expressions, words and emotions, rather than immediately trying to change the situation. When a friend, client or co-worker complains about something that is irritating to them, try just listening intently but not expressing agreement or disagreement. Not only will you be practicing awareness, you will also help diffuse their intense emotions by exuding a sense of calm.
 
Lately, I've been hearing people say, "It is what it is" quite often. Maybe that's because there seem to be so many more things beyond our control than ever before - and now we can add swine flu to that list! Saying this phrase may be one way of coping with that loss of control. When used as an expression of acceptance, rather than defeat, I think the phrase can be a very helpful way to practice living in the present moment.
 
Make a commitment to yourself in the month of May to practice awareness several times each day - awareness of what is around you, of what others are feeling, and of what you are feeling. Not only will you appreciate your life more fully, you will also increase your ability to manage your emotions and use them to your benefit.
 
In my next newsletter, I'll discuss the EQ competency of Empathy, and how to develop it. If you would like to learn more about how to measure and develop your EQ, please contact me for a complimentary consultation to discuss how I help my clients in this area.
 
Wishing you a month of awareness,
 
~ Kathy