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"There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is."
-- Albert Einstein
"Joy is prayer - Joy is strength - Joy is love - Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. She gives most who gives with joy."
-- Mother Teresa
"The invariable mark of wisdom is to see the miraculous in the common."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson |
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| The Gift of Gratitude
 Fall is here. For me, there is nothing like the freshness of a new season to remind me of the gratitude I feel for the tremendous blessings in my life.
We all know these are difficult times. It's hard to have even a short conversation without something related to the economy entering in. As my 8-year-old daughter said in exasperation the other day, "Why does everyone keep talking about this? Can't we talk about something else?"
I think she makes an excellent point. So I'm dedicating this newsletter to the gift of gratitude, because what better way to take our mind off our troubles than to focus on our blessings?
What is gratitude? I like Abraham Maslow's definition: "Gratitude is the capacity to appreciate again and again, freshly and naively, the basic goods of life with awe, pleasure, wonder, and even ecstasy, however stale these experiences may have become to others."
Why is gratitude good? According to Dr. Robert Emmons, psychology professor at UC Davis, and author of Thanks! How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier, there are two main reasons. First, he says, gratitude strengthens our social ties and cultivates our interconnectedness. Second, gratitude increases our own sense of personal worth because when we feel gratitude we understand that we are loved and cared for.
In their ongoing gratitude studies, Emmons and Dr. Michael McCullough of the University Miami have found that gratitude is also good for our immune systems; it makes us healthier. Additionally, they found that grateful people are:
- Higher in positive emotions and life satisfaction; in other words, they are happier
- Lower in negative emotions such as depression, anxiety and envy
- More socially oriented - more empathetic, forgiving, helpful and supportive
- Less focused on material goods and comparison to others
- More spiritually minded
(Source: Greater Good magazine, Volume IV, Issue 1, Summer 2007, "Pay it Forward" by Robert Emmons).
And we all know grateful people are much more pleasant to be around than whiners and complainers. Grateful ones lift our spirits and gently remind us through their actions to be grateful ourselves.
Given my line of work and my passion for what I do, I read a lot of books about leadership and business development and personal growth of all kinds. I am continually struck by how often the concept of gratitude appears in these books. Whether the subject is extraordinary leadership, the law of attraction, becoming a millionaire, discovering purpose, thinking like a business owner, or ensuring continuous growth over a lifetime, all these great authors seem to understand a fundamental secret: we can't really grow and make a better life for ourselves if we don't start from a place of being grateful for what we already have. How can we expect more if we don't truly appreciate what is already ours? And how can we truly be happy if we don't simply take the time to be grateful for what is, instead of always wanting more?
So, how can you become more grateful? Like anything, developing an attitude of gratitude requires practice. The more you do it, the easier and more automatic it becomes. Here are a few ideas that have worked for me:
- Start by taking the time to make a list of things you are grateful for, perhaps arranging it by the major areas of your life: family, friends, spirituality, job, money, health, personal development, leisure, etc. A dear friend of mine told me a beautiful story about the poet, Maya Angelou, and a time in her young life when she was in deep despair. Her voice teacher told her to go home, take out a yellow notepad and write down everything she was grateful for until she could no longer think of anything. She did as her teacher said, and wrote and wrote and wrote, and as she continued, she realized that her depression was lifting. It is virtually impossible to feel deep gratitude and depression at the same time, which became very evident to Maya Angelou as she got more and more in touch with her gratitude.
- Express gratitude upon waking every morning. Be grateful that you woke up, for the sunshine or the rain, for your spouse, your kids, your job, your friends, your pet, your health, and so on. Some people find putting their slippers right next to their bed helps them remember to say "thank" and "you" as they put each foot into its slipper in the morning.
- Read books about gratitude, and keep them on hand for quick reference. My favorites are Attitudes of Gratitude; A Grateful Heart; and Giving Thanks: The Gifts of Gratitude, all by M.J. Ryan. We keep one or two of these on our kitchen table, and often read from them for our mealtime blessing.
- Sign up for a daily gratitude quote delivered to your inbox. Go to www.gratefulness.org and visit the site regularly for a gratitude boost.
- Write a letter to someone you are very grateful to, but never properly thanked. Martin Seligman, founder of the positive psychology movement and author of Learned Optimism, conducted a study in which he carried out this wonderful idea. He asked a group of people to not only write a gratitude letter, but to deliver it in person to the recipient. In addition to giving the recipient a huge helping of love and joy, those who wrote and delivered the letters gave themselves a lift as well. In fact, those in the study who did gratitude visits felt much happier and much less depressed than those who did not, and their boosts of happiness lasted at least one week and even one month after the visit.
- Make a point to connect with others who have helped you, even in a small way. Look them in the eye, smile and say "thank you." You never know what a difference it might make to someone if you take the time to appreciate them. I love this quote from Dr. Albert Schweitzer:
- "At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us."
How can you express gratitude this week? Whose light can you rekindle? If you take the time to connect with your gratitude, the light you rekindle may be your own!
Have a grateful month! I wish you all the best!
~ Kathy
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