Wow, after watching the movie, "The King's Speech", I was reminded of how powerful it is when someone stands firm in their personal beliefs without being afraid to speak out.  If you haven't seen this movie I highly recommend it. 

Looking for a help with a terrible speech impediment a speech therapist is invited to come to the soon to be King's home to assist with the problem.  The therapist replies without hesitation that the lessons will be done at his own studio or not at all. He was not afraid to communicate what was important to him. This therapist was willing to lose a client rather than compromise his rules.

Eventually the King did show up at the therapist's studio but it was made clear to the teacher that he was to bow and use his student's title. The speech therapist did not agree and came back with, "I believe I shall call you, Bertie".  The therapist never backed down.  He asked for what he wanted, explained why and remained firm that this is how it was going to be, take it or leave it.  For his therapy to work, they needed to be equals not in a power struggle.

The mutual respect that was to build between the student and teacher going forward was priceless.  The playing field had been leveled thus creating an environment where they could honestly make progress and together tackle any problem.

There are times in all our lives when individuals will try to overpower us and believe they need to control the situation. It would be easy to just give in, but at what price. This is actually a form of bullying when you feel pressured to react or behave in a way that makes only the other person happy.

Whether dealing in the corporate world, with your friends or relatives it is important to know what is important to you. Being able to stand firm and communicate what works for you creates an atmosphere of equals having a discussion.  Comfortably asking for what you need or want will create less conflict for you and the other person.

Most of us know what happens when one person is feeling bullied or put upon, defenses will rise and listening comes to a halt.  This is usually when the fight or flight instinct starts to kick in.  If you are able to take a breath knowing what is important to you and just ask for what you need, much of the drama in your life will disappear! 

It's the NOT asking that keeps us all twirled up!  How often have you walked away from a situation wishing you had asked for what you needed?  You will typically lose control of the situation if you don't. Not being heard makes us feel awful however we have no one to blame but ourselves.

Take the time to determine what YOU need.  Get clear with yourself so that when the time comes you can articulate what it is that you must have to feel satisfied.  It is as simple as saying, "I appreciate what you are saying and I have some thoughts as well."  Don't make it sound as if the other person is wrong but rather let them know you heard them and also wish to contribute.  Even if they disagree, you are able to walk away knowing you were heard.  This is better than spending minutes, hours or years wishing you had found your voice.  FIND YOUR VOICE, SPEAK UP!