It's time to have a serious talk with your children about
sexual abuse.
Recent stories about Penn State, Syracuse University, and the Red Sox may increase the sense of urgency -- but the need to talk about preventing child sexual abuse is constant.
It's time to move past the outrage. It's time to move past trying to make sense of how the system failed to protect children. There are many and complex reasons why adults aren't always able to do what's right when it comes to protecting children from child sexual abuse. It's time to focus instead on what we can do.
1. Talk to children. NCSC's Child Assault Prevention Program (CAP) has been leading the effort on educating Newton children as well as adults for 20 years. Over 18,000 children have grown up with CAP's simple concept that "All children have the right to be Safe, Strong and Free."
We know that people who abuse thrive on secrecy. We know that abused children often believe that the abuse is their fault, and that the people who care for them won't love them anymore. We know that abused children often feel ashamed and afraid.
Starting a conversation with a child about sexual abuse can be difficult, but here are some things you can say:
"I want you to know it's okay to say NO to anyone, including adults, if they are doing something to hurt you."
"If someone is touching you or taking advantage of you, they might make you feel like it is your fault. But it is not your fault."
"If someone is touching you or taking advantage of you, they might say, 'If you tell your parents about our secret, they won't love you anymore.' They're lying. We will always love you, no matter what."
"If anyone says or does anything like this to you, come tell me right away. You don't have to keep it a secret, even if you've promised."
"I want you to tell me, even if you're scared or embarrassed. Just come to me and say: 'I have a secret that I'm scared to tell.' Then I can help you tell it."
"Remember, I always want to help you be Safe, Strong and Free. And anybody who hurts children is someone who needs help, too."
For more ideas, read the CAP Adult Guide or ask us to mail you a hard copy.
2. Learn how to recognize warning signs in adults who may be abusing children.
People who sexually abuse children look like everyone else. Learn to recognize warning signs in adults who may abuse children by visiting the Enough Abuse website. Initiatives like the Enough Abuse Campaign have played an important and leading role in educating adults.
3. Support Newton CAP to continue to empower children
by teaching them how to recognize abusive behavior and how to prevent it. CAP reaches over 2,000 children every year with a largely volunteer staff and with a small budget. We invite you to have a personal and immediate impact on the lives of these children by joining the hundreds of community members who provide a financial contribution to NCSC and the CAP program.
For more information contact Gail Sommer, Director of Community Support and Prevention, Newton Community Service Center, 617 969-5906 x 143 or gsommer@ncscweb.org.
