Role Modeling: Working On Our Goals Helps Our Children To Create Their Own

One of my favorite friends (and families) has begun working on a daily goal of getting out of bed earlier than usual in order to work out and get her day started ahead of schedule. No small feat for this night owl. To ensure success, she enlisted, and hired, her teenage son at five dollars a day to be responsible for getting her out of bed in the morning. She knew he'd be perfect for the job and hold her accountable for her actions. He even created a goals chart for her to complete each night, to fill out in preparation for the next day, and he joined her in creating his own as a result. And if she doesn't get out of bed? Well, he uses a spray bottle to ensure the goal is met. Is that great or what?  

 

The part of the story I love most, (besides the spray bottle), is the fact that this individual played to her son's strengths as a natural leader and motivator and inspired him to set his own goals for himself. She joined forces with him in order to accomplish her own.

 

                How are you playing to your children's strengths?

           

Do you know what their goals are?

           

Do they set daily goals for themselves?

           

If we model this behavior for our kids, chances are they will follow in our footsteps.

 

A great time to do this is during breakfast. State what your goals are for the day (there may be 25 things we need to get done but naming the most important 1 or 2 does the job here). Then ask your child(ren)- what are YOUR goals today?

 

Answers might be:

 

• To have fun in gym class
• To work on an assignment due at the end of the month and get one section done just for today                
• To read 20 minutes                    
• To exercise to get in shape- by dancing, sit-ups/pushups, or playing outside in the snow                   
• It could be to relax- it may have been a busy week  and this is a day to just chill out
• Or to play a game, or watch their favorite show, which they can only do after they get their homework completed.  

 

The key is to link rewards to the goal: when I do this, I then get to do that. By getting your child in the habit of listing their goals each day, it brings specific benefits, besides the logical ones of getting things done, such as:

 

1.)    They begin to realize that choice, accountability, and the resulting rewards are within their control

2.)    They learn to follow their hearts and do what is important to them. They need get the other stuff done so they can to do what is truly special to them and only them.

3.)    They gain power by accomplishing what they set out to do. This leads to greater goals and a greater sense of accomplishment

 

Lastly, you can ask your kids, "In order to reach your goal(s), what else do YOU need to do in order to make that happen?"

Often it comes down to bringing their best attitude to it so that they can achieve with effectiveness, determination, and power. That's really the most important goal of all: to raise our kids to own their power and value themselves.

 

 

For more information regarding the holistic counseling I use in my practice with women, parents and children, visit my website at www.JillSylvester.com

 

Happy February!

 

Jill

 

If you are interested in subscribing to my mail list for future monthly newsletters, please click on the
"Join my Mailing List" link.  In addition, please feel free to forward my newsletter to those who you feel may benefit by clicking on the "Forward Email" link at the bottom of this email.