4 Grandmas Celebrate 60 Years of Friendship

 

Friendship has always been an essential part of my life. I've nurtured my friendships over the years and consider them my greatest treasures. My good friend and former neighbor, Judy, sent me a pillow she embroidered with the words: Old friends are the best friends. It certainly rings true for me this month. Three of my oldest and dearest friends and I celebrated our birthdays by walking through our old neighborhood in San Francisco and spending the night at the Hotel Vitale on the Embarcadero.

Marilyn, Kristi and I met in elementary school. Sandy and I knew each other "before we were born!" Our mothers were sorority sisters in college. The four of us have stayed in touch for over sixty years and have shared many joyful celebrations, as well as heartbreaking losses. Now that we're all grandmas we have even more to share.

Our girlfriends say much about who we are, where we are in our lives, and what aspects of ourselves we value. Making time for our friends can be challenging given our complex lives. A 2006 study from Duke University and the University of Arizona showed that Americans have almost one-third fewer confidants than they did in the 1980s, and that "ties are more family based." Another disheartening statistic was that there are now twice as many people who report not having any close friends to share their problems with.

One of the reasons I founded the GaGa Sisterhood was to create a community of like-minded women who could meet each other and make new friends. I'm happy to say that I've witnessed many friendships that began at our GaGa Sisterhood meetings.  

 

The Health Benefits of Friendships

 

Author and Wall Street Journal columnist Jeffrey Zaslow says, "A host of studies show that having a close group of friends helps women sleep better, improve their immune systems, stave off dementia and actually live longer." He cites an Australian study that found women with more friends lived 22 percent longer than women with fewer friends.

 

Zaslow has become quite an authority on friendship. In 2003 he wrote a column on female friendship for The Wall Street Journal and knew that he'd touched a nerve when he received 300 letters and emails from women. He'd seen his daughters (now 13, 17 and 19) struggle with their friendships and knew how friendship can lead to great things. His column led to a book The Girls from Ames: A Story of Women and a Forty-Year Friendship published in 2009.

 

What he learned in studying these women is that people with stronger friendship networks feel like there is someone they can turn to. "Friendship is an undervalued resource. The consistent message of these studies is that friends make your life better."