2010 Calendar
Date Host Presenter
Jul 11 Judy share projects
Sep 19 Carleen Nancy Wulff
Nov 7 Irene Gabrielle Miller
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Future Meetings
September 19
Watercolorist Nancy Wulff will
present some ideas for art projects with our grandchildren. Nancy has taught children's art classes for the Pacific Art League and Triton Museum of Art.
November 7
Our speaker is Gabrielle Miller, the executive director of Raising a Reader, a national non-profit organization that offers families techniques for improving reading readiness in children ages 0-5 years.
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July 11, 2010 Meeting:
Projects for Our Grandchildren
GaGa Judy is hosting our July 11 meeting in Menlo Park. I've gotten many requests to bring back the activity we did two years ago of getting to know each other. And I'm adding a new element. When GaGas tell me about the creative projects they've made for or with their grandchildren, I always wish I could share them with our members. So our July 11 meeting will be sharing a project or description of a project we've done for or with our grandchild.
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The Art of Grandparenting
I still have a few copies left of The Art of Grandparenting. In the chapter I wrote, How to Become a Go-To Grandma, I offer seven strategies for building lasting bonds with your grandchildren. The most important lesson I've learned as a grandma is that getting time with your grandchildren requires building trust and respect with their parents. Trust is the foundation for having access to your grandchildren.
The anthology, subtitled Loving, Spoiling, Teaching and Playing with Your Grandkids, includes 20 chapters by "new" and "seasoned" grandparent authors. To order the book, click here.
You can also purchase copies at our July 11 meeting.
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Greetings!
Oh, life can be so ironic! In the middle of writing this month's GaGazine about multigenerational living, our son moved back home with us. I find some comfort in knowing that about 18 million adults between the ages of 20 and 34 live with their parents. That's about a third of that age group, according to our May speaker, Sharon Niederhaus.
I wish our house had the two important requisites that Sharon recommends when generations live together---a separate kitchen and entrance. It would make life a lot easier. But we're making the best of it because that's what parents do when their kids need help.
Sharon gave a fascinating presentation to all of us lucky GaGas who gathered outside on Carol's beautiful patio in the Saratoga hills. Sharon explained that she and her brother wrote Together Again: A Creative Guide to Successful Multigenerational Living because they recognized the growing trend of families moving in together. About 6.6 million U.S. households have at least three generations living together, a 30% increase since 2000. Read on for details of her presentation.
In Sisterhood,
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How the Book Happened
 Sharon retired from teaching 17 years ago when she became a grandma. In 2001 she enrolled in the Stanford Master's Program and wrote her thesis on multigenerational living. The following year her brother, John Graham, told Sharon that the Wall Street Journal had just done a cover story on multigenerational living. He proposed co-authoring a book since it was such a hot topic. Together Again was published in 2007.
They were motivated to write the book after dealing with their younger brother's deteriorating health, his long-term care, and premature death at the age of 45. Their experience of visiting him in the nursing home left them questioning how the sick and elderly are cared for in our society. They thought there must be better, more compassionate ways to care for family without such separation and isolation.
Sharon interviewed 100 families across the U.S. to learn how they managed living together. She shared several success stories illustrating that proximity and privacy are two key words to think of when you begin the process of deciding what type of housing to use for extended family living.
Need for the Book
Fifty years ago it was common for three generations to live together. But over the past five decades the American family has shifted to the "nuclear family," with mom, dad, and kids living in isolation. This arrangement creates the challenge of who will care for the children and the elderly when the cost of housing and health insurance continues to skyrocket.
"One way to meet both these needs is for families to return to pre-World War II living styles where extended families lived in close proximity to one another," Sharon explained. "Grandparents could help raise their grandchildren. Then, later in life, they would be nearby to receive help with their own care, if needed."
Sharon told us that when her granddaughter Tori was 4 years old, she said: "Gran, I love you and I like you, too!" To this day she regards her statement of affection as one of the highlights of her life because love is one thing, but like is quite another. She mentioned the story to illustrate that one of the major factors in deciding to live together is whether or not family members like each other and can all get along.
Book
Topics
The book explains how to start a
conversation with your aging parents about living together, who should be
involved, and deciding whether it's even a possibility. There's a script
on how to approach the subject in a direct but non-confrontational way.
Once you've made the decision to live together with
family members, there are a variety of ways to accomplish it, including
houses with accessory apartments (granny flats), duplexes, townhouses
next-door, two or more condos in the same building, family compounds,
co-housing, mobile homes, and houses across the street from each other.
According to Sharon, about one-third of American houses have the space to add an
accessory unit. She showed us an illustration of an inexpensive and simple
single-family home conversion and told us stories of families who've converted
their homes, garages, and basements to accommodate another family member. She said it's important to find out what your local municipality requires
before starting a project.
Accessibility
is another important issue to consider. The book states that "so many of us are
living in 'Peter Pan' housing---built as if no one ever ages. The typical
single-family house is designed for people who will never grow old."
Sharon told us four challenges to getting together again with your extended family: financial and legal, building and zoning codes, psychological, and the most interesting, overcoming cultural stigmas.
The book explains that America's emphasis on independence has stigmatized boomerang kids and grandparents who are living with their kids. "Americans feel, incorrectly, guilty about the interdependence that will always exist across generations of family members."
The final chapter of the book includes practical answers to the big question people have when considering living together: how do you keep the peace? Their advice is organized into issues related to getting along: family meetings, communication preferences, relationship issues, privacy, shared responsibilities, accommodating personal preferences, childcare, and family fun.
Sharon closed by emphasizing the importance of planning ahead. "Be where you want to be for the rest of your life by the time you're in your early 70s."
(Clockwise) Donne, Carol, Sharon  |
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GaGa Sisterhood Blog Redesigned
Check out my newly designed GaGa Sisterhood blog! You'll find tips, activities, book reviews and advice such as how to teach your grandchild to be a good loser. I write two new posts every week and now it's really easy to receive my latest post in your email -- just click on Email Updates in the blog.
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The GaGa Zone
Please continue sending me pictures and stories of your grandchildren for the GaGa Zone.
GaGa Dee sent me this adorable photo of her grandchildren.
Meadow Merriment
Photo by Tabitha Jacobson  |
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