2009 Calendar
Date Host Presenter
July 12 Virginia Bea
Sept 13 Dee Group Activity
Nov 1 Sandy Susan B
|
July 12, 2009 Meeting
When Being a Grandma Isn't So Grand
Our July 12 meeting will be hosted by GaGa Virginia in Saratoga. One of the benefits of being in the GaGa Sisterhood is hearing other grandmas' stories and getting reassurance, and even some solutions, for the challenging situations. GaGa Bea will lead us in a discussion about some of those challenges. Come prepared to talk about your
own difficult experiences, so that we can have a dialogue about those
times when being a grandmother isn't all milk and cookies.
|
Forward this Newsletter to a Friend
GaGa Barbara L. has paid me the highest compliment and told five of her friends about the GaGa Sisterhood. They've all joined. Recently, I met a grandma who said she would pass along the link to my blog to all her grandma friends. I would truly appreciate your doing the same or forwarding this newsletter to a grandma you know. Just scroll down to the bottom and click on "Forward email."
|
|
Greetings!
Our May meeting was truly memorable. It was our first meeting in San Francisco and GaGa Cheri G. earned the title of "Hostess Extraordinaire." Cheri baked for days, one of her passions, and prepared a beautiful array of treats, including a cake with candles to celebrate GaGa Susan's 60th birthday.
Our guest speaker, author Adair Lara was as entertaining as her book, The Granny Diaries. She had us all laughing hysterically as she read passages about following the parents' rules, how not to ask for their permission, and some innocent remarks to avoid. During our free-flowing conversation we discussed some topics that could be included in future meetings: changing the current grandmother stereotypes, the relationships with the parents of our grandchildren, and today's new parents' emphasis on safety at the expense of freedom.
For those who missed the event, Adair said she had such a good time she'd be happy to come to a future GaGa Sisterhood meeting. You can also listen to a short interview with her that I recorded after our meeting.
Exciting news: Patty Fisher, a columnist for the San Jose Mercury News featured the GaGa Sisterhood in her May 22 column! Click here to read it.
In other media news, the GaGa Sisterhood is now up on Facebook and Twitter. Stop by sometime to say hello and become a Fan or "tweet" us!
In Sisterhood, 
|
|
Adair Lara Speaks Frankly
 Adair is funny, friendly, and easy-going. She fit right in with our group, which included 14 grandmas and one great-grandma. She was open about her life and told us she's always written about herself. Her family has come to expect her next "Tales From the Crypt." One GaGa asked how Adair's daughter, Morgan, responded to the book. Adair explained that her daughter has a great sense of humor and this book was far less revealing than the memoir she wrote about Morgan during her teen years.
Parent-Child Relationships
Adair was inspired to write the book because of the new relationship with her daughter. "I wanted to say something about the shocking experience of being a grandma and the whole new relationship with my daughter. Grandparenting is all about navigating the Parent-Child relationship. We each have so much power over each other, especially mothers and daughters. They become something new and we become something new."
Adair wishes that our children would be patient with us and let us make our mistakes as we adjust to our roles. Our intentions are good and we're just trying to help. We're learning how our children want us to behave.
What Not to Say
Adair described the tone of her book as "snarky" humor because otherwise, "you'll bore people to tears when you write about such a sentimental subject." She manages to inject a lot of wisdom along with the wit.
"Being a member of the bite-your-tongue club doesn't mean you have to sit there for the next forty years with duct tape across your mouth. If you really need to say something, say it. But pick your moments-you can't take those words back."
After she read this quote, a GaGa asked whether she should tell her daughter to brush her grandson's teeth in the morning before going to school. GaGa Barbara gave an adamant yes; her daughter-in-law is a pediatric dentist! Adair recommended waiting for a calm moment when nobody's mad and the grandkids are not present.
Topics to Avoid
Never criticize the parent's choice of names.
Don't say anything about your grandchild's hair. (why don't they comb it?)
Do not say anything about what your grandchild is wearing.
She advises carrying this handy list in your wallet, so you'll avoid sentences that begin with:
"You're her mother, but ..."
"Shouldn't you ...?"
"Won't he ...?"
"Why do you ...?"
"In my day ..."
Final Words
In between the humor and snarkiness, Adair's humility comes through. She readily admits to not having a Ph.D. in grandmothering or being a particularly good role model. But she asks that we GaGas be grateful she took the trouble to do some preliminary blundering for us and offers these final words:
Go forth and screw it up. Forgive yourself. Try again.
Honorary Membership
At the end of our meeting I presented Adair with an honorary membership certificate in the GaGa Sisterhood in recognition of her humor and insight into grandmotherhood.
|
|
GaGa Member News
Congratulations to Our Newest Grandma
Two years ago I attended an eWomen Network meeting in San Jose and met Marilyn A. When I told her about the GaGa Sisterhood, she was immediately interested. She came to a meeting and joined even though she had no plans to be a grandma. Her son and daughter-in-law were both busy professionals and parenthood was not in their immediate plans. Six months after she joined, Marilyn announced at one of our meetings that she was, indeed, going to be a grandma. Her son and daughter-in-law were expecting their first child in the middle of May. We were all thrilled for her and joked: see, just being around other grandmas will turn you into one!
On the morning of our May meeting Marilyn called to tell me she'd become a grandma. Her grandson, Asa Zion, was born at 12:44 am on May 3. He weighed 7lb 7oz, is 21 inches long and "looks exactly like his dad," according to Marilyn, the paternal grandmother!
GaGa Bev Recovering After Knee Surgery
On April 27 GaGa Beverly N. had surgery to replace both her knees. I spoke to Bev before her surgery and she was amazingly upbeat. She'd done months of research and decided to have the surgery done by Dr. Dearborn in Fremont, CA because he specializes in double knee replacements. Four days after her surgery, Bev was already walking up and down stairs and heading home to her daughter's to recover and enjoy the company of her granddaughters. She's been working very hard with a physical therapist and told me she can't wait to return to our yoga class, where we met three years ago. Bev's positive attitude is inspiring. We all wish her a continued recovery.
| |
|
|
|
