In a hastily called press conference April 28th President George Bush urged US citizens to spend their economic stimulus check on Mother's Day gifts.
Speaking at Security Jewelers in Duluth, MN the president said, "For less than half my stimulus check I can get Laura a beautiful pair of ¼ carat diamond earrings from my friends at Security Jewelers."
Even if I only spend 25% of my check I can get Laura a genuine Janel Russell Mother and Child Pendant."
The president said he would use the remainder of his stimulus check to pay for the rental of the VFW hall for Jenna's wedding reception.
I called Poppy up in Maine and suggested he buy Bar the Janel Russell Mother and Child Earrings to match the necklace I bought her last year from Security."
In a surprise move seldom seen, Vice President Dick Cheney joined the president at Security Jewelers and said his wife Lynn had been begging him for the ½ carat diamond pendant. Although it was more than his stimulus check he was able to sell some old scrap gold and his class ring to make up the difference.
The VP went on to say that he saw a similar necklace in Bahrain last week for nearly $400.00 more but knew it would be prudent to wait until he was in Duluth to make the purchase.
Security Jewelers sales associate Peggy Zahn, speaking anonymously said, "Although we never talk about what our customers purchase I can say both the president and vice president did their share to help stimulate the economy."
Presidential aides were unable to confirm the speech actually took place or if the president and vice president did actually make the purchases.
However, spokesperson Dana Perino did mention she picked up a lovely Orrefors Crystal votive candle and matching Orrefors vase for her mother.
Not to be left out, Democratic speaker of the house Nancy Pelosi said there was too much work to be done in Washington to travel to Duluth to shop so she was pleased to learn that all of the above items and many more were available and specially price on securityjewelers.com.
She was particularly impressed with the large chocolate pearl necklace similar to trademark pearls. The speaker was equally impressed that if she ordered by May 5th Security Jewelers offers free shipping guaranteed to arrive by Mother's Day.
