© Lorraine Edey 2005-2008.  Feel free to include this article in your ezine or on your website or distribute it to others, provided you include the copyright statement and the bio information tag line found at the end of this article. 

The Law of Attraction states that "like attracts like". Whatever you focus on the most is what will be most attracted to your life.   If that is the case, it will be a no-brainer that if we want a relationship then all we have to do is focus on getting a relationship and we will have it?  That sounds easy enough; however is it what the law of attraction really is? 

Let's look a little deep, especially as it relates to relationships.  Ok, if like attracts like, then what are you like?  Meaning what are your values, qualities, characteristics, moods, thoughts.  What I have found in working with singles and couples is that they want to attract into their lives or want there partners to be what they are not,  meaning they want their partners to make them whole.

And so what we are in essence focusing on is what we don't have and would like to have and since the law of attraction is accommodating, guess what?  We get more of what we don't want and don't have.

How can we turn this around?  The way to attract what you desire in your life is to be that which you desire.  Yes, I know that sound crazy; however it is the only thing that works.  Gandhi said, "We must be the change we want to see in the world".  I say, we must be the change we want to see in your relationships.  Here are some steps to start the process:

1. Clarity:   It is important for us to get clear about what it is we desire. In order to do this we need to look at what we do want and what has not worked in our previous relationships.  As we look at what we don't want we can become clear about what we do desire.  Make a list of those qualities that you do not want in a relationship.  Then make another list of the opposite of what you do not want, which will be what you do want in a relationship.  Then keep the focus on what you do want. 

2.  Working the Relationship.   If you're in a relationship that is not working look at what you can do to change.  Then look for the good qualities in the person you are with.  Remember if you are looking for the negative that is what you will receive more of.  As long as we hold a negative image of the person we aren't happy with, they continue to show up that way.  

3. Be Curious.  Allow yourself to be open to possibilities.  Find out more about the person you are having a relationship with.  Listen more and talk less. 

4. Be the Person You Want to Attract.You have to be the person you want to attract. You have to be the person you want to date, the person you want to spend the
rest of your life with. 

5.  Have An Attitude Of Gratitude.  If you are in a committed relationship or married, it is important to express gratitude for everything in your life,  even your difficult relationships. The more things we are grateful for the more we will continue to attract those things in our lives. Look for the good each day in your relationship and be grateful about those things.  Start a Relational Journal and daily write the positive aspect of your significant other. 

I am your on-line money and relationship expert, coach and trainer.  I am passionate about helping dissolve debt and supporting financial freedom, one person, one family, one couple at a time.  I help people to learn how to manage their lives and money and develop healthy and loving relationships.  I teach individuals, couples and groups how to break-free of limiting thoughts and patterns that have kept them in bondage caused by debt and under-earning. 

I facilitate a number of in-person Freedom Plans©, Imago Education and Law of Attraction seminars as well as teleseminars.