As usual, nothing ever really goes according to plan :-) If I wuz a morer edumacated manly man, I'd have figured out that the Fairfax County County Zoning Board is a wee bit harder to decipher than at first glance. I know I promised a newsletter with my endearing wit and endless charm for this email (and rest assured I cannot WAIT to edumacate y'all aspiring business folks out there about the adventures... uh... I mean nuances of zoning ordinances...).
But...
...for the essence of time, which I am "behind" my 4-months-ago-plan by about 3 weeks, this will be a simple (read: shorter) email "blast" that tells y'all the Back to School "gun" has gone off. As they yelled from the chuck wagon during frontier days: COME AND GET IT!
So, short and sweet:
- Last week Fairfax County approved our expansion plan (version 436, I believe, but they only saw 15 or so).
- We just put out over 50 bins of Fall/Winter items.
- Our email customers have "first dibs" today, Wednesday, and Thursday before the general public comes in this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday for Virginia's Tax Free Weekend
- Y'all can come in, shop, and put on layaway any clothes you want, then pick 'em up this weekend to save 5%.
- I owe everyone an apology for the short notice :-( Please see aforementioned comment about FCG expansion approval last week. Charlene has been a juggernaut fixin' up the store for everyone :-)
- And oh, by the way... ALL of our summer items are now up to 75% OFF.
- You are truly crazy if you don't at least check us out before other stores... You're gonna spend money at them there fancy dancy places, I know this... but you can spend MORE money there if you SAVE money with us first... or at least - that's what I'd tell MY husband. If I were a wife. Which I'm not. Purely hypothetical of course. As noted, me manly man. [Insert manly grunt like Aaarg here].
Come and stock up on great summer fare while the selection is great and the prices can't be beat. We've rebuilt the whole place in about a week in preparation for our next growth spurt!!!
-Brian
PS - Fortunately for me, and I dare say y'all too, the "plans" I have laid really aren't mine at all. Not sure I always agree with God's timing, but He sure does like to make Life down here on Earth full of intrigue ;-) Strangely enough, I ate a raspberry and a blackberry tonight and pondered how Evolutionists can even remotely think one "evolved" into the other or both "accidentally" grew from primordial soup. I mean, CLEARLY the pineapple (which was soooo much sweeter and tastier from my fruit selection) was the dominant species IN THE BEGINNING and must therefore have CREATED the sub-par blackberry and raspberry from leftover pineapple poopoo, a smattering of carbon and hydrogen atoms, and a smidge of electricity.
The conclusion is therefore
irrefutable. God
must be a Pineapple. Hmmm... do pineapple's poopoo? OK, let's not go there. I hope y'all can recognize satirical writing, or soon I'll have tomatos thrown at me (which I have on good authority that supportive of popular Evolutionists' theories the tomato really
did come about by accident when the Pineapple had excessive flatulence while walking by a quasar/nebulae cluster and PRESTO the tomato was born!).
Whoa. Perhaps I shouldn't be writing these email blasts at 2am... Or more accurately, need to get more sleep from the late late late nights of construction :-)
