I recently went to the theater with a friend to see a play.  We had terrific center stage seats, which were very difficult to acquire.  As we were being seated, we noticed that someone was occupying one of our seats.  When we mentioned the 'mixup' to the seated woman, she turned to us and said, in a low-key, condescending tone, "Why don't I just stay here and everyone can just move over one space."

She had just tried to use the Jedi Mind Trick on us by using a verbal suggestion to influence our actions.  She presented her end game as a 'fait accompli' thinking we'd just go along with it. (My thought - "Nice try, but no thanks.")  I pleasantly and firmly  responded, "thank you but that won't work for us, we really want to sit in our seats."

Later, returning to our seats at the end of intermission, we were faced with the same situation.  As we approached our seats she tried the same tactic again.  I handled it firmly and directly, by saying, "We'd like our seats back now, thank you."  And we stood there until she moved.

(My thought - "Oh, no she didn't!")  I was outwardly calm, but inwardly agitated.  She had pressed one of my hot buttons - twice.  The first time, my level of agitation was so low that I barely noticed and easily moved beyond it.  But the second time had a cumulative effect, and left me feeling quite unsettled.

The interesting aspect of this situation is that I wasn't cognitively aware of the emotional changes that had just occurred, until after they happened.  For a few minutes after the play resumed, I sat in the dark analyzing what had happened to my previously mellow, happy mood.  Once my thinking processes caught up with my emotional responses, I was able to put my feelings in context and then let them go.  While I handled the situation with tact, courtesy, and strength, it was important for me to unravel the mystery of my mood shift so I could banish the emotional dark cloud that was forming, and fully enjoy the rest of the evening.

The following excerpt from the Communication Under Fire™ book explains what I experienced.

When you interact with button-pushing people or situations you can feel anxious, demoralized, unmotivated, powerless, and angry.  These emotions revive the old patterns that cause you to shut down, lash out, assume the worst, and blame others.  According to Goleman (2005), this experience is called "neural hijacking."  Your emotional brain perceives a threat, declares an emergency situation, and springs into action executing old familiar behavior patterns.  It happens so quickly that often you are responding before your cognitive or thinking brain is fully aware of what is happening.