It is Spring.  We've had that first really sunny day---the one that boosts you up and moves you forward---the one that provides the impetus to clean the garage, to thoroughly clean the car (inside and out); and even to clean one's closets.  Yes, it is time to sort through one's closets again, put away winter, reorganize, and ready one's wardrobe for Spring.

Have you thought about cleaning out your internal closet cobwebs so that your spirit (both personal and professional) is primed for renewal too?   Have you examined your self-esteem? Our psyche benefits when we are lifted up!   Possessing a mindset of positivity is a choice.  Let's shake out those mind-closet (cobweb) negatives and move forward into Spring with positive gusto!

Judy Kuriansky, PhD, in her new book on Self-Esteem, notes that you can refocus negative thoughts if you choose.  You can have only one thought in your head at a time. It can bring you up, or it can drag you down.  You choose.  The same holds true with engaging in gratitude journaling.  As you write about that for which you are grateful, the negative is not present.  

We have the freedom of choice---that is, we choose our response to whatever happens to us in life.  So, we can surround ourselves with ego boosters, not ego busters.  We can do things that make us feel competent and give us a feeling of accomplishment.  We can develop thick skin and deflect the barbs from those "invalidators" who try to bring us down.  As Miguel Ruiz writes in his book, The Four Agreements,  "Don't take anything personally."  Those negatives simply reflect (whatever is going on) with those who deliver the barbs.  We can get hugs and give hugs, because physical contact generates an internal response (consciously or unconsciously) that builds positive self-awareness, as you perceive someone cares about you, and vice versa!

Here's a jump start strategy for our spirit's renewal---being consciously aware of our own positive words and phrases:  I can, I will,  I am,  I love, I create, I do,  and Yes, I accept the challenge!  Concurrently, let's remove the negative words and phrases like:  I can't, I won't,  Well, maybe, I don't know or I don't care, and No, that's a problem.  After-all,  there's nothing worse when cleaning closets than indecision around what stays, what goes, and what comes in anew.  When it comes to our internal workings, we want a whole walk-in closet full of positive, revitalizing energy!  

Happy Spring! 

Why are We (Women) Always Seeking Permission?

by Claire Knowles - Lights On!

  I was at the Be The Change Event with Suzanne Evans last week in Orlando, Florida. She is a remarkable, sales-focused woman who has coached many women (and men) in successful business careers.  She's considered a marketing expert. One article in her newsletter which I received post-conference asked this question:  As women, how did we go so wrong? After all, we still earn less than men, the Fortune 500 top earners remain weak in the numbers of women, and the number of women heading up privately-held small businesses is less than 30%. 

So why is that? 

  I found this question hugely provocative, especially having lived through the 60's, and having been part of the fight for fairness for women in the workplace (and life) for decades!  

 How would you answer her question?

  Suzanne's answer (I believe) is right on!  The need for Permission. 

She writes, "We continue to wait on permission.  I have coached thousands of women and men and here is what I can tell you---doing business like the boys is not a bad thing. It could actually liberate you!"

  She continues, "Spouses, parents, friends, biz partners---I have heard it all.  You need to honor someone else's wishes. (So, you'll take the back seat).  You need permission from someone to invest or take the next step or move ahead. (So, you'll put your dreams on hold). Ladies!  We will always earn less, do less, have less, as long as we wait for permission to do what we need to get what we need. You want to be equal?  Want to be liberated? Start by stopping! Stop waiting for permission!"  

  I'll add my postscript to this:  I think that we have trouble giving ourselves "permission" to move forward.  We often wait for everything to be lined up first....looking for 100% guarantees.  We hold ourselves back---giving a host of excuses---we just keep that dialog going on and on with ourselves, which hinders forward action. We hesitate....wanting assurances for taking responsibility for a decision.  We look to others to affirm us, our thinking, our action.  (And what about our treatment of other women who are trying to move forward assertively?  Are we able to praise the success of other women? Think about that!)

  Sometimes I think that we don't even think about our "personal power"; and that we, as women, have an unconscious habit of needing permission to excel, let alone to influence our outcomes.   So I wonder...is it possible that we have such a distinct female biology and neurological need to seek and receive approval, that we'll always have difficulty getting beyond this "permission-thing"?  

  Here's to permission to turn your Lights On!