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IN THIS ISSUE:
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Lights On! is all about Path-
finding! It is
about helping individuals find the
personal and
professional paths each has been
seeking. It is also
about teams, groups and
organizations working
together with clarity, coherence and
respect.
Lights On!...Especially for
Women: Coaching,
Consulting, Facilitation,
Presentations, Retreats.
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** Who is this person? Is that really me? Which me?
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My husband and I returned home from a long work trip
just before Thanksgiving.
Of course, there was some leisure site-seeing time
built in to those travels too.
Since we've returned, we've been reminiscing via
digital photos/slide show.
There is one photo, particularly, that I can't bear to
gaze upon. "Is that really me, I asked? If it is really
me, then what happened? How did I come to look
like that?"
Have you ever had this experience?
I've come to the conclusion that I must comprise
many selves-mostly contradictory! That is, I'm like
an octopus, with multiple tentacles. For example,
which of my many selves decided it is okay to munch
from the M&Ms in the candy jar each time I pass by
it? It certainly can't be the same self that decided that
thin was in! It can't be the same self that decided to
do the crunches on the exercise/rowing machine.
Which one is making my snack selections? Chances
are it isn't the same one that vows to be healthy. How
do I get my many selves all believing (again) in the
same program? It would be good if I could get this
figured out--before the next round of New Year's
resolutions!
Cognitive Dissonance theory provides some great
clues. Cognitive Dissonance is that uncomfortable
feeling caused by holding two contradictory ideas
simultaneously. It is when one's beliefs and one's
behaviors don't match up. Either I'll have to change
my behavior with the M&Ms (to get in synch with the
belief that I need to be healthy), or I have to change
what I believe to match the unhealthy behaviors (like,
well at my age, with my genes, this is how it is, and a
few M&Ms won't make much difference).
From Our Evolving Selves, by Peggy LaCerra,
come these good words: While it is our higher-order
selves that commit to long-term goals, it is a motley
collection of lower-order selves that are left to the task
of accomplishing them--this is not a winning strategy.
So, what is a successful strategy? To consciously
activate a higher-order self. The moment you begin to
observe your own thoughts, you begin to operate from
a higher-order self. So, activate a "mental model of
your intentional self" bringing it forth often throughout
the day--before every meal--when walking by the
M&Ms. It is the process of creating a clear picture of
your intention (whatever that might be)--and seeing it
clearly throughout the day--then grasping it again and
again until it rises to reflect both your belief and your
in-synch behaviors. Intentional self-creation
practice.
Here's to the New Year! Here's to aligned beliefs and
behaviors--may they match up beautifully! (Bye-bye,
octopus!) Lights On!
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