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One of the themes explored in talk story time with grieving children is "feeling responsible when you lose a parent." For children in care, this may come from abusive parents blaming children. For children of divorce, it may develop out of conflict in loyalties. For children impacted by death, it may represent a wish to save the life of their loved one. When loss leaves children feeling powerless & helpless, being responsible is a way of regaining a sense of control. But it can also lead to a lot of suffering. At Kids hurt too, we hear the saddest stories. But we also have the chance to reassure children that it is not their fault and to comfort them. No one can take away their sense of being responsible. That is something a child must deal with throughout their lifetime. You can validate a child's feelings by saying, "You really wish you could have done something to help your parents so you could still be together." You can comfort by saying, "It is not your fault. You are a child. I can tell you love the person." Remember, their sense of guilt or responsibility is a way of loving the person who is gone. That is what they need validated.
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| Contact Information |
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Cynthia White
Executive Director
Kids Hurt Too
808-545-5683
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