A Mile in My Shoes
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Quote of the Month
Tony July 2010
"We don't really heal anything; we simply let it go." --  Carl Jung
Issue: 7July 2010
Greetings!

Welcome to all new subscribers this month. Thanks once again for sharing these tips with your colleagues, friends, family, neighbours, teachers and customers.
 
I'm still going with my running a mile each day experiment. I've done 187 days so far, but someone sent me a story of someone who has been doing it for 10,000 days, which is quite sobering.
 
Talk about highs and lows. After writing about self compassion in my last tip, having been in a flat cycle myself, at the moment I'm really excited about some fantastic unfolding opportunities. For those of you who watched the inspiring video I reviewed in my February tip, next week I am due to meet Kiran Bir Sethi, the Headteacher of the school in India who brings the motto "I Can" to life for many, many children.
 
I am also becoming involved with another education-related project, which is really exciting too!
 
The only other thing to report is that I went to see my 2nd all time favourite band, Crowded House, a few weeks ago. They were brilliant and as inspirational as they always are. How much more excitement can I take?
 
I've recently fallen into a pattern of releasing these coaching tips roughly every six to eight weeks, which seems to work quite well for me. So expect to see the next edition of my random musings in early September.

Anyway, my run for the day is safely in the bag. Tomorrow I run again, hopefully. Do join me.
Let go
 
Letting GoI recently read a coaching tip from Michael Neill, a fellow coach, wishing everyone an average day The sentiment in Michael's tip struck a chord with me.
 
I recognised in myself, and in those I come into contact with on a daily basis, a striving to always be our best. The flip side of this, for me anyway, is frequently that my normal everyday self is not quite enough. Trying to be my best is attempting to correct those flaws in me that are not so good.

Then again I don't think I've ever met the perfect human being. It doesn't matter how successful someone is in terms of their career, their relationships with family, friends and colleagues, their self sacrifice in the service of others, or however you measure success in your view of the world, everyone has a shadow side or something about themselves they aren't 100 percent happy with.

It is part of being human and actually it is absolutely good enough. I don't need any more qualifications, I don't need any more experience, I don't need any more knowledge. I am good enough just as I am. You are good enough without adding anything else into the mix.

What would it be like if I was totally happy with my imperfection? What if I was completely at peace with it?

Does this mean that I will be giving up? Maybe it does mean that I will give up striving so hard. Maybe it means that I will give up trying to force myself to be better. Maybe it also means that I will also give up punishing myself for not being better than I actually am.

So is that now it? Am I now going to stagnate? Am I not going to bother doing anything? Am I not going to bother working at all?

I don't know about you, but I think I'd get pretty bored doing nothing at all. An extended holiday might be fun for a while but then what?

What about imagining what might be fun to do next?

Personally, I find it fun running. I find it fun singing. I find it fun reading about and meeting inspirational people. I find it fun working with individuals and groups of people, helping them to realise that they are whole and complete just as they are, and helping them to explore what would be fun to do now that they know that.

Wait a minute, isn't that what I do now only without the "must be better", "must be perfect", "must change myself" baggage?

You see there is nothing more that you need to do, to get, to learn, to master in order to be OK. In fact the key to your, and my, happiness is to let go.

Let go of trying to be better, Let go of trying to be nicer. Let go of trying to be cleverer. Let go of trying to be thinner. Let go of trying to be fitter.

You and I are whole and complete RIGHT NOW.

So, please just let go that you're not.

I feel better already.
 
See you soon.
New website
 
CA logoThanks to a wonderful Fathers' Day present from my son I am now the proud owner of a new website and logo.

If you haven't come across Squarespace before, check it out. It's a fantastic tool for creating and maintaining a website, blog or for combining a number of different elements.

Mine combines all my blogging, social media and coaching tip activities into one central hub.

To see what a Squarespace sight might look like, take at look at The Coaching Approach.
Until next time.....
 
Sincerely,
 
Tony Phillips
The Coaching Approach