| April 2008 |
Vol 1, Issue 2 |
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To the Water.
The Time has Come.
(formerly Tony's Coaching Tip)
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| Greetings! |
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Welcome to all subscribers (new and longer-suffering) to the second edition of "To the Water. The Time has Come.", formerly known as Tony's Coaching Tip.
I'm right in the middle of my CTI coach certification programme, which is  continuing to teach, provoke, uplift, inspire, frustrate, challenge and excite me. I'm also really enjoying working with a variety of great coaching clients at the moment, so thanks to those of you who decided to take me up on last month's special offer.
This month's tip came about as a result of a homework assignment from my certification programme.
I assume that, like me, you were brought up with the saying that "curiosity killed the cat". Well, rather than being a dangerous practice, I'd like to argue that curiosity is a positive attribute that has the power to heal, allowing you to put yourself in others' shoes.
However, rather than involving a cat, my personal example of curiosity in action involved my dog Charlie.
I have also included a link in this edition to a truly inspiring talk given by a lady called Jill Bolte Taylor, which I challenge you to watch and not be moved by. |
| Quote of the Month |
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"Have compassion for everyone you meet, even if they don't want it. What appears bad manners, an ill temper or cynicism is always a sign of things no ears have heard, no eyes have seen. You do not know what wars are going on down there where the spirit meets the bone."
-- Miller Williams
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| Curiosity saved the dog |
Cats are not the only ones who are inherently curious. The breed known as the common-or-garden life or executive coach, of which I am one, also has tendencies, and is encouraged, to be extremely curious. It is our curiosity that helps us to delve into areas for our clients that other people cannot reach (a bit like the old Heineken advert, for those of you who remember it).
A couple of weeks ago as part of my certification homework, I was tasked to take on being really curious in a number of areas in my life over a period of several days.
It was during this period that I left the house only to come back and find that my dog, Charlie, had added dramatically to the liquid content of our living room carpet.
Those of you who know me well, will know that while appearing mild-mannered, patient, tolerant and understanding on the outside, I have a few buttons that when pressed turn me into an irrational, angry, miserable and, I'm embarrassed to admit, sulky unresponsive individual.
Charlie the dog has a remarkable knack of being able to push those buttons with what seems like very little effort.
While I was quietly steaming and totally ignoring Charlie, I happened to glance down at my homework sheet and noticed the instruction to be curious at all times. Almost immediately and somewhat magically it seemed, most of my anger, frustration, annoyance (and yes even my sulkiness) evaporated.
I actually saw the possibility that Charlie might not have intentionally acted out of spite towards me and may not have been out to punish me for leaving him in the house on his own. Curiosity allowed a number of other possible explanations to enter my realm of possibilities.
My judgements, and the meaning I had added to the facts just seconds before, all disappeared. This, in turn, allowed empathy, openness and compassion, along with the curiosity, to return to my relationship with Charlie once more. This meant that Charlie got his dinner much sooner than he would have done, which I believe is a very good outcome in Charlie's world.
So, what is the message here for you? What could the conscious choice of being curious change for you, maybe in your attitude towards a colleague who has an uncanny knack of being able to annoy you, or to a family member who is highly skilled in pushing your buttons, or even with your attitude towards yourself.
Maybe you could just be curious about why you persistently procrastinate, why you can't seem to stick to that diet or exercise programme, or why you fail to achieve that goal that you keep committing to?
Try some real childlike curiosity. You might be surprised at what looks different from here? |
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| Stroke of Insight |
Neuroanatomist Jill Bolte Taylor had an opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: One morning, she realized she was having a massive stroke. As it happened -- as she felt her brain functions slip away one by one, speech, movement, understanding -- she studied and remembered every moment. This is a powerful story of recovery and awareness -- of how our brains define us and connect us to the world and to one another.
Although not short, at just under 20 minutes, if you can find the time, this is WELL worth watching! |
| Curiosity - an external perspective |
If you believe that you might benefit from the additional curiosity of an external expert, get in touch with me on 0044 (0)7747 036573 or via tony.coach@btinternet.com. |
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I'm very curious to know what you discover from your new perspective over the next few weeks.
Until next time,
Tony |
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Tony Phillips
The Coaching Approach
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