I was thinking how hard I am on myself for being
so slow to learn life's lessons and to implement the
learning successfully and effectively immediately. The
thing is that I know being hard on myself is not really
that productive. Telling myself I'm hopeless or thinking
there's something wrong with me doesn't actually
help me to succeed the next time around. Does it work
for you?
I started wondering how good I would be at walking
now if I had used the same approach when learning
to walk that I use now as an adult.
It would have looked something like this -
Stand up, wobble a bit, fall over. "Oh my God I'm
hopeless at this. I knew I'd never be any good at this
walking game. I might as well not bother. Maybe I
should really concentrate on this crawling skill that I've
really got handled pretty well already."
Funnily enough, although I have to admit that my
personal recollection of learning to walk is hazy to say
the least, I wouldn't mind betting that I fell over a lot,
bumped into things and knocked them over (actually I
still have a tendency to do that, and yes, even when
I'm sober) during my "learning to walk" journey.
In fact, looking back at the way I learned to walk from
the perspective of my "adult" attitude and
approach to learning, I wouldn't mind betting that I
failed so many times at walking and for such a long
period that it is incomprehensible how I ever
managed to succeed.
It must have been sheer stupidity, stubbornness,
ridiculous self-confidence and the fact that I didn't
know that I was failing that ever let me carry on in the
face of such adversity. And yet, carry on I did and I
eventually got there. I mean, hey, I can even run now,
at least after a fashion.
In fact, when I think back to learning to walk, learning
to swim, learning to ride a bicycle and learning to drive
a car, I followed a similar approach with all of these
challenges. It went something like - work out what to
do; do it very badly; do it again very badly; do it some
more, also badly; repeat previous step a ridiculously
large number of times; and finally, "hey, I think I can do
this now", albeit still fairly badly, "but hey, what does it
matter, I can do this!"
So, what if I were to take this approach with the way I
manage my time, with the way I am in relationships, in
the way I am with my business development, with my
career, and so on.
What if I was to fail over and over again in all these
areas and don't make it mean that I can't do it, that I'm
no good and that I'll never be able to do it. What if I
was to "stupidly", stubbornly plough on perfectly
happily, without considering that I might be failing, with
ridiculous self-confidence that I'll still get there in the
end?
I reckon that would make quite a difference. What's
more I think I might enjoy the journey, welcome
the "failures", maybe even being honest and not trying
to hide them or cover them up. And yes, I think I might
also be stretching my comfort zone on a regular basis
and enjoying the rewards that I know I get when I do
stretch it.
So, all in all with my "learning to walk" perspective, I do
declare that if I look at how I'm doing with learning how
to live my life effectively, I think I'm probably getting
there slowly but surely, and that's exactly how it's
supposed to be. How about you?
Anyway, time to go and fall flat on my face again a few
more times. Excellent.
Thanks for reading. Meet you in your Inbox next month.
Keep your eyes open for me.
