Recently, there have been several decisions that
I've needed to make where my way forward can best
be summarised as stuck, confused and frustrated.
One of these decisions, although hardly life
threatening I realise, was what the topic of my next
coaching tip should be.
What happens to me in this type of situation is
that I know that it needs to be resolved within a
certain timeframe, and yet I don't have a solution or
even a clear approach to solving it.
In such a situation my default position is to go straight
to - what is the solution here? When no solution
becomes apparent, my confusion and feeling of
helplessness intensifies. Where do I go to next? Yep,
back to - what is the solution? Can you see how easily
a classic vicious circle can develop?
Me too, but when I'm fully immersed in this modus
operandi the knowledge that I'm in a vicious circle
generally doesn't help me get out of it.
I am simply resisting being in this situation in the first
place. I don't want to be in it. I just want to get out of it
as quickly and as easily as possible. From here I have
no clarity.
When I am able to break the pattern (which has been
known to take weeks, months or even years in some
extreme cases), the most powerful realisation for me
is that it's OK to be in this place of "what the hell am I
going to do from here?".
The difference is that from this new perspective, there
is nothing to fight. This is not the same as giving up
and not facing the problem. Giving up is just another
flavour of resistance or postponement of acceptance,
because invariably the situation will come back.
No, acceptance is about being OK that I am where
I am right now and that I don't know what to do. Once I
can accept this, my mind becomes clearer and open
to new ideas, suggestions, and thoughts about new
possibilities.
So, my tip for you this month is to ask what you are
currently resisting. What is there in your business,
your career or your life that you are not wholly
accepting? A good indication is if it is something
that keeps coming back even though you thought that
you'd buried it several times before.
Now ask yourself what accepting this situation would
look like? Once again, I reiterate that this is not the
same as tolerating it unresolved. It is accepting that
you are struggling with it and giving yourself
permission to be where you are.
What does that acceptance open up for you?
Is there a sense of relief and lightness that it's OK not
to be able to solve it NOW?
Now stay open to what comes up. And don't be
prescriptive about where the solution comes from. It
may just be a new idea to try a different approach. See
where it takes you.
Thanks for reading. See you in November.
