Tony's Coaching Tip Life's a pitch
March 2007

Greetings!

Welcome to the March 2007 issue of Tony's Coaching Tip.

Apologies for being late sending out my coaching tip this month. I hope that no one was waiting with baited breath and wondering what on earth had happened.

Several subscribers have told me that their email screening systems are removing all the pictures from my coaching tips, just leaving empty boxes with an 'X' in the corner. I have therefore decided to strip the tip down further and remove most of the pictures. So here is the streamlined version.

I came up with the title and idea for this month's tip after hearing an interview on the radio with the authors of a new book called Life's a Pitch, which, as yet, I haven't read. I liked the title and thought that what the authors were saying tied in nicely, once again, with ideas I have been examining as a result of my NLP training.

Lastly, as many of you know I have been training to run the London Marathon for the past few months. I will be raising funds for Demelza House Hospice Care for Children, a charity that is all about "adding life to days when days cannot be added to life". If you would like to support me by contributing to this hugely worthwhile cause, please click on the following link: sponsor Tony online. I welcome any contribution (however small) and promise to let every sponsor know what we are jointly able to achieve for Demelza and the children it serves on Sunday, 22nd April.

I hope you enjoy the tip this month and, if you do, please forward it on to friends and colleagues and ask them if they would like to subscribe too.

in this issue
  • Quote of the month
  • Bits and pieces
  • Feature: Life's a pitch

  • Bits and pieces


    Books

    "The Big Book of Us: The Workbook That Will Change Your Relationships" by Nina Grunfeld. Nina is the founder of the groundbreaking Life Clubs. Following on from the success of "The Big Book of Me", Nina has written a practical workbook that will help you examine your romantic relationship, see whether it is (or isn't) working and, together with your "other half", improve it. Like her first book, Nina's latest book has a good mix of concepts and exercises, so there are plenty of practical tools in here. Also like her first book, the design and layout is eye catching and interesting all the way through. I haven't come across many coaching books that concentrate on our romantic relationships, so if the topic is of interest I suggest you give it a go. *****


    Feature: Life's a pitch


    One of the things that the authors of Life's a Pitch said that caught my attention was that we are all pitching to each other pretty much every second of every day. Whether you conform, rebel or even choose to be as neutral as you can possibly be in the way you dress, speak or act, you are very much making a statement about what you represent, and are therefore making a pitch.

    So if you are pitching to someone (and you probably are), particularly if you want to lead, influence and/or impress them, it is important to firstly establish some sort of rapport.

    I have recently learnt a very useful formula for establishing rapport that goes - "pace, pace, pace, lead". What this formula is all about is going to meet another person in their world. So it is paying attention to their body language, their tone of voice and the words they speak.

    It is also about going to meet that person by matching aspects of their body language, tone and their words. I'm not talking about mimicking them. That would generally be seen as ridiculing them. It is about pacing them. I suppose the analogy for me is jogging alongside someone to chat with them rather than standing at the side of the running track and shouting to them.

    If you think about jogging alongside someone, your body position, breathing and speed of talking (obviously influenced by your breathing) will both be very similar. Presumably you'll even be travelling in the same direction!

    How much more likely are you to be able to lead, influence and impress someone in this scenario as opposed to the one where you're shouting to them across the track?

    I introduced the formula a couple of days ago to a client who was going to a meeting with a customer who he was expecting to be unhappy and possibly confrontational. The feedback from my client was that he paced the urgency and concern of the customer's body language, tone and words, and was surprised at how quickly he was then able to calm the situation and influence the outcome.

    I just want to clarify here that I am not talking about agreeing with everyone all the time. Interestingly, I have found that I have much more rapport and empathy with someone who disagrees with me but is pacing my body language, tone and words, than I do with someone who agrees with everything I say but completely mismatches my body language, tone and words. Try it out yourself.

    So, my challenge for you this month is to choose someone that you would like to lead, influence or impress. Observe them, listen to them and get the feel of their map of the world and pace, pace, pace, then lead them. Have fun!

    Thanks for reading. Because of commitments in April, the next issue will be on the 2nd of May.


    Until next time,

    Tony

    Tony's Coaching Tip is published on the last Wednesday of each month to challenge, stimulate and inspire people who want to unlock their own potential and the potential of others. It is written by Tony Phillips, who coaches organisations & individuals to recognise and reach their true potential.

    The names of coaching tip subscribers will never be shared or sold.

    You are free to use material from Tony's Coaching Tip in whole or in part, as long as you include the complete attribution, including e-mail link. Also, please notify me where and when the material will appear. Thanks.

    � 2007 Tony Phillips - All Rights Reserved


    Quote of the month
    Tony (cropped)

    "There comes that mysterious meeting in life when someone acknowledges who we are and what we can be, igniting the circuits of our highest potential."

    - Rusty Berkus



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