One of the things that the authors of Life's a Pitch
said that caught my attention was that we are all
pitching to each other pretty much every second of
every day. Whether you conform, rebel or even choose
to be as neutral as you can possibly be in the way you
dress, speak or act, you are very much making a
statement about what you represent, and are therefore
making a pitch.
So if you are pitching to someone (and you probably
are), particularly if you want to lead, influence and/or
impress them, it is important to firstly establish some
sort of rapport.
I have recently learnt a very useful formula for
establishing rapport that goes - "pace, pace, pace,
lead". What this formula is all about is going to meet
another person in their world. So it is paying attention
to their body language, their tone of voice and the
words they speak.
It is also about going to meet that person by matching
aspects of their body language, tone and their words.
I'm not talking about mimicking them. That would
generally be seen as ridiculing them. It is about
pacing them. I suppose the analogy for me is jogging
alongside someone to chat with them rather than
standing at the side of the running track and shouting
to them.
If you think about jogging alongside someone, your
body position, breathing and speed of talking
(obviously influenced by your breathing) will both be
very similar. Presumably you'll even be travelling in the
same direction!
How much more likely are you to be able to lead,
influence and impress someone in this scenario as
opposed to the one where you're shouting to them
across the track?
I introduced the formula a couple of days ago to a
client who was going to a meeting with a customer
who he was expecting to be unhappy and possibly
confrontational. The feedback from my client was that
he paced the urgency and concern of the customer's
body language, tone and words, and was surprised at
how quickly he was then able to calm the situation
and influence the outcome.
I just want to clarify here that I am not talking about
agreeing with everyone all the time. Interestingly, I
have found that I have much more rapport and
empathy with someone who disagrees with me but is
pacing my body language, tone and words, than I do
with someone who agrees with everything I say but
completely mismatches my body language, tone and
words. Try it out yourself.
So, my challenge for you this month is to choose
someone that you would like to lead, influence or
impress. Observe them, listen to them and get the feel
of their map of the world and pace, pace, pace,
then lead them. Have fun!
Thanks for reading. Because of commitments in April,
the next issue will be on the 2nd of May.
" by Nina Grunfeld. Nina is
the founder of the groundbreaking 