In the early days of running workshops, my goal
was always to ensure that the evaluation sheets
collected from the delegates at the end of the
workshop were very positive, and that they all said
how fabulous the workshop was, and ideally what a
great facilitator I was in the bargain.
While I was generally pretty happy with the
feedback, occasionally there would be a score or
comment that didn’t quite measure up to my goal.
When I received one of these less than perfect
evaluations, out of all the evaluations I received,
can you guess which one I dwelt on after the event?
When achieving a goal is dependent on other
people’s thoughts, feelings, reactions and behaviours
you can count on being disappointed from time to
time. At the best you can only influence, because
the end result is not within your control.
To quote Abraham Lincoln, "You can please some
of the people some of the time, but you can't please
all of the people all of the time."
A technique that I have discovered along the way
that significantly increases my chances of success
is to create a goal that is 100% within my own
control.
Nowadays when I'm delivering a workshop, prior to
arriving on site, I set an intention for myself for
the workshop. An example of an intention that I have
used recently is for me to be a tool, or a channel, to
bring about fun, learning and connection.
If this sounds a little vague as a goal, what I
mean by this is that I see my role as the creator of
an environment where all the participants can have
fun, learn whatever they can from me, the material
and each other, and to ensure that they are able to
connect with me and with each other.
I’m not saying that I am always able to look back at
the end of each day and give myself a 10 out of 10
for achieving my intention, but I find that if I set my
focus on it at the start, then invariably I'll do OK.
The validation for me is whether I experience the
intention (i.e. fun, learning and connection) myself.
Since changing my measure of success from the
achievement of an end goal that is partly outside
my control, to setting an intention that reflects a
way of being for me, my workshop
experiences have been enhanced dramatically.
An analogy I like, is comparing myself to a waiter at
a cocktail party walking around with a selection of
drinks and hors d'oeuvres. Some people may choose
to partake of one or two selections from the tray,
others may select a bit of everything, while some
may turn down everything on offer.
But as long as the waiter, or waitress, walks around
and makes it easy for everyone to make their own
choices, then they have done all they can, and can
feel satisfied in a job well done.
This technique is not just relevant to running
workshops. I now use it on a daily basis, whether
running workshops, coaching individuals and even in
my daily interactions with my family and friends. All I
need to do is set an appropriate intention.
So, what intention do you want to set for
yourself?
What selection do you want to put on your
cocktail tray?
And remember to make sure that you offer your
intention to everyone at the cocktail party, even the
other waiters and waitresses. The rest is up to them.
You've done your bit.
" by Lee Glickstein. A great
book for anyone who is terrified of speaking in public.
This is unlike other books that give you processes
and tools you can use to cover up or put a veneer
over your feelings of trepidation. What I like about
this book is that it helps you to bring yourself, and
your natural "inner speaker", out and to face your
vulnerable feelings rather than pretend that they
don't exist. *****
" by Keane. I really
enjoyed their first album, Hopes and Fears, and so
decided to give their follow up album a go. It's early
days (I only bought it yesterday) and although it
hasn't had the immediate impact Hopes and Fears
had, I still think it is strong as an album. I already
particularly like the single, "Is It Any Wonder?" as
well as "Nothing In My Way", "Hamburg Song", "Try
Again" and "The Frog Prince".
****
