Tony's Coaching Tip All present and correct
March 2006

Greetings!

Welcome to the March 2006 issue of Tony's coaching tip.

It's been a busy month. It started with a 4 day family trip to Barcelona, continued with me having to withdraw from the London Marathon because I have a stress fracture in my lower right leg, and is ending with it being my best month of revenue to date since I became a coach.

The coaching tip has been a struggle this month, not the writing of the tip but the anticipation of writing it. Strange really when I love the activity of sitting down and writing any old rubbish that comes into my head (sounds like most of your coaching tips do I hear you say?) and I enjoy sending the tips out.

That enjoyment is increased when some of you respond to say that you liked or didn't like what I wrote, or that it has had an impact or struck a particular chord.

This month also sees the first double coffee shop coaching tip. Yes, the original idea was conceived in Starbucks and completed in Caffe Nero, all in the same morning. How exciting is that? OK, I guess it's only me then.

I have to say that I still find it fascinating when, like this month, the topic of a coaching tip bears no shape or resemblance to my original list of possible ideas that I wrote down when I first sat down in Starbucks this morning.

Finally, to go alongside the quote of the month, this month I am also introducing a book of the month feature to the coaching tip.

Enjoy.

in this issue
  • Book of the month
  • Quote of the month
  • Feature: All present and correct

  • Book of the month

    My choice for book of the month is "How to Have Kick-Ass Ideas" by Chris Barez-Brown.

    An excellent book that is entertaining, thought- provoking and a little different from other books on this topic. It is written by the head of training at the world's largest independent innovation company, ? What If!. It contains a number of good self-coaching type exercises. It's also fun and easy to read.

    I can also recommend it as a conversation starter in coffee shops. It worked for me in both Starbucks and Caffe Nero this morning.


    Quote of the month

    ""Don't ask yourself what the world needs - ask yourself what makes you come alive, and then go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

    - Harold Thurman Whitman


    Feature: All present and correct

    So with myself as a prime example, why do we spend so much of our time either fretting over the past or worrying about the future and therefore completely losing the present moment? Feeling guilty, disappointed, frustrated, worried and/or fearful masks our experience of being right here, right now.

    There is an extremely useful model that I came across a few years ago in Stephen Covey's book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People", which I refer to in my coaching at least once a week, almost without fail. The model is called the Circle of Concern / Circle of Influence.

    To use the model, you make a list of everything that is currently on your radar of concern, whether it is about your past, your future, someone else's behaviour, where you're going on holiday this summer, your task list for today or this week, or whatever.

    Draw a large circle on a separate piece of paper, taking up most of the paper, then draw a smaller circle completely contained in the larger circle but leaving plenty of space between the inner and outer circle.

    Now copy all those items that you have control or influence over, maybe by having the ear of someone who can take appropriate action, from your original list into the inner and smaller of the 2 circles. If some items have elements that are in your control or influence and some that aren't, split the items into the separate elements. You now have your completed circle of influence.

    Now copy everything else on your original list that you have no control or influence over into the outer circle. This is your circle of concern without influence.

    Here's the point. Spending time and energy on items that are outside your circle of influence is completely useless and non productive. How could it be anything else when you have no influence over the outcome?

    To top it all, when you spend much time concentrating in this area, others will see you as ineffective and your circle of influence will shrink even further as others stop listening to and taking notice of you.

    However, when you operate mainly in your circle of influence, you are automatically more effective, others will see you as such and your circle of influence will therefore expand.

    So where do you think concerns over your past and future fall within this model? I'd suggest that your past lies completely outside the circle of influence. After all, how can you change the past?

    The future is slightly different. If there are actions you can take to influence the future, for example exercise more if you're worried about your health, then that would fall in the inner circle. Worrying about the future while doing nothing about it definitely falls in the outer circle, rather like I was doing with the coaching tip before today.

    So to summarise, my suggestions for this month to live more of your life in the present moment are as follows:

    Step 1 - Write down everything occupying your mind right now that you are concerned about.

    Step 2 - Draw one large circle and label it on the outside as The Circle of Concern.

    Step 3 - Draw a smaller circle inside the bigger one and label it The Circle of Influence.

    Step 4 - Copy all the items from step 1 into the appropriate circle.

    Step 5 - Stop worrying about items in the outer circle and shift your concentration into the inside one.

    Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this coaching tip why not forward it to a friend or colleague? Next issue on April 26th.

    Until next time,


    Tony

    Tony's Coaching Tip is published on the last Wednesday of each month to challenge, stimulate and inspire people who want to unlock their own potential and learn in the process. It is written by Tony Phillips, who coaches dynamic individuals and teams to swing out and play a bigger game. Worldwide.

    The names of coaching tip subscribers will never be shared or sold.

    You are free to use material from Tony's Coaching Tip in whole or in part, as long as you include the complete attribution, including e-mail link. Also, please notify me where and when the material will appear. Thanks.

    � 2006 Tony Phillips - All Rights Reserved


    Tony (cropped)


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