Bottom lining is described in my coaching "bible"
as "the skill of getting to the point and asking the
client to get to the point. What is the essence of
the conversation?"
It can be used "when the
client begins wandering tangentially through story
after story. Sometimes it's the client's style of
conversing; many times it's a way of avoiding difficult
or direct conversation. The client is out there
circling in the fog."
It's funny how easy it is to talk around a
subject. When confused ourselves, we often weave
a web of confusion for others. It can be helpful
having someone asking us what the bottom line is or
even simply asking "what exactly are you trying to
say?".
After all, we can only address and solve a problem
once we have identified what it is.
I used to, and still can, shy away from bottom lining
as I'm hesitant to interrupt people in case I appear
rude or I upset the person who is speaking. Bottom
lining was the first coaching skill that I selected to
practice on my very first day of coach
training, because I realised that it was a key "area
for development" for me.
Actually, rather than being an indication of rudeness
or disinterest, bottom lining works in the same way
that shining a torch or headlight on a dark street sign
provides the clarity you need to proceed on your
journey.
It isn't easy at first to cut to the chase when the
direct approach is not your normal modus operandi.
But bottom lining becomes easier with practice,
particularly when you see what you can achieve, by
interrupting to ask a direct question.
Also, what about using bottom lining on yourself?
What stories do you keep telling yourself (and
possibly others) about all the external reasons and
people that are preventing you from achieving what
you really want? What is your circle of fog made of
that you walk around with each day?
So, my questions for you this month are:
Who in your life always gives you story after story
whenever you talk to them, and you're never really
sure exactly what their point is?
Are you giving other people your stories but you
haven't worked out what it is you really want in
terms of support or assistance from them?
If you identified a "woolly" story teller in your life or if
that story teller is you, it's time to exercise your
bottom lining skills over the next few weeks. It will
make life clearer and simpler for you, I can assure
you.
Thanks for reading. If you've enjoyed this please
pass it on to a few others who might also like it.
Next issue on November 28th.
Until next time,
