Someone told me that this has been in the news recently. It was reported that someone ended a valedictory speech with a cuss word. "So what?", you might ask, "People think nothing of cussing these days, it's normal". Really?

Now, I have lived for several years surrounded by people who thought nothing of cussing every other sentence, nor have I always been free from cussing myself, so I know what I'm talking about. However, let's stop and think. What is cussing, anyway? Something fashionable? Something that is just part of everyday conversation? Something cool? Hip? Think about why YOU cuss, whether out loud or under your breath. What was the impetus?

It would be quite obvious to us that the impetus for cussing is mostly from a sense of violated or unfulfilled rights and/ or desires. "I have a right to do what I want", "I have a right to fairness", or "I have a right to my own style of self-expression", are a few thoughts that are behind cussing. Cussing is also an expression of disgust, disdain or contempt. Why cuss? Is it because we have made plans, and our plans are not going the way we expected? Is it because that driver just cut into my lane? Is it because my colleague just went on sick leave for the umpteenth time and I have to work extra hard to deliver the project, but with no credit to me? Well, if we do cuss over such things, what does that reveal about us? I would say that the hard truth is that we have not achieved the level of maturity and stability that we would like to believe ourselves to have arrived at. If we have, then there would be no need for cussing. We would not be rushing from chore to chore, we'd be a lot more strategic than that. We'd not fuss over having to put in extra effort and resources because of a malingering co-worker, we would know that our bosses would notice and appreciate our dependability in the long run, and we would be mature enough to both exhort and inspire that co-worker to change her ways or be held accountable for her actions. Going deeper, we would even be in a position to edify that co-worker by helping her to see that such actions actually devalue her in the eyes of others, and most importantly, in her own estimation. We would not be upset just because some driver cut into our path, we'd simply be more determined to be exemplary in our own conduct on the road, and give that errant soul a blessing, since he probably wouldn't be getting many, anyway, so he could certainly do with at least one.

Most of you know that I used to work in the Armed Forces, so you'd assume that environment plays a big part in whether we cuss or not. Well, believe it or not, I have actually met quite a few guys who really impressed me because they DIDN'T cuss. But, boy, believe you me, they really knew how to turn you on your head and screw you right into the ground with their even, calm, controlled, and masterful chewing out. Even if they didn't screw you into the ground, you'd bury yourself, that's how low you felt after one of those sessions. Guess what? Those were the very same guys who could also inspire you to greater things just by their very presence. They weren't angels, that's for sure, but they knew how to live without grovelling in the depths of harbouring contempt for others, which is an attitude that usually gets exposed when we do cuss.

Ivan Misner of BNI fame once quoted someone as saying something like "The competitor to be feared is one who never bothers about you at all but instead works quietly and steadily at improving his own business". Methinks that, if we all focus on such things, we would lose the urge to cuss the next time the occasion warrants it, by most people's standards today.

So, make a decision to stop cussing today. The air would be much more refreshing when we all decide to do so!

Do that right now! Go well!