Training Tools 

The most important element of a soft connection with your horse comes from your elbows. Our hands should be soft, our forearms relaxed and our elbows bent and connecting with the horse in a smooth fashion. Many riders will move their hands up and down, cross the neck, or pull them back into their belly. Using the reins this way only creates resistance in the horse's mouth. All of these habits reveal an inefficiency of the use of the elbows. The forearms must not tighten and press down when you are using the reins, the horse will only react by tightening their jaw and bracing their neck. Remember to soften your hands and forearms, allowing the strength of your posture to support your elbows.  

Another common problem is a rider that uses their reins towards the belly and then rounds the upper body to compensate. This creates a mental and sometimes physical block where, instead of keeping your seat moving forward with the horse's center of balance, the rider ends up pulling the seat towards the back of the saddle. A simple solution is to practice riding with the hands approximately hip-width apart and keeping the elbows bent. This opens up a space for the seat to "go through" your hands and keep a correct position.

Believe me, I know how hard it is to have soft hands! I always wanted to keep a steady contact on the horse's mouth and I was tight in my arms, especially my left arm. I have always had better feel and timing in my right hand because I am right-handed. Usually riders will have better timing on the dominant hand but sometimes it will work against them because that hand will try to do all the work. I actually practiced writing with my left hand to help improve my feel and coordination. Our arms tend to reveal a lot about our security and confidence as a rider. If you are tight on the reins that usually means that there is some insecurity or fear related to being out of control. Other times it just has to do with a lack of balance in the body and the arms will bounce or tighten up as a result. Quiet hands will come from a balanced, quiet seat. Riding on a lunge-line without your reins can really help you rely less on your reins.   

Click here for 8 tips on how to improve your elbows.