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Kicking off the New School Year!
 
Guest Expert, Bridget O'Brien
Director/Owner of SuperKids 

The start of a new school year is a stressful time for everyone in a family.  Not only do our schedules change, but so do our activities.   Pools close, the weather gets colder, the days get shorter, and even the type of clothing we wear changes.  Couple that with a new classroom, a new teacher and some new friends and ...phew that is an exhausting amount of adjustment for a young child.  This is an important time for parents, caregivers and teachers to pay special attention to children's emotional needs.   No matter how you slice it change is hard.   More importantly adjustment takes effort.   While adults can consciously make plans and prepare for upcoming changes, children do not necessarily have the same facilities to cope with transitions.  First of all, children are not the ones who are in control.  Parents make the scheduling decisions.  And second, children do not have the same sense of time continuum as adults. For a very young child, saying tomorrow can be the same as saying ten years from now.  These two factors go hand in hand and are very important things for parents to consider while easing their child into a new school year. 

 

Parents need to give their children a sense of control so their emotions don't get out of control.  As the school year approaches parents should allow their child to participate as much as possible in FUN preparations for school.   This will give them some feeling of control and pride in their new environment.  For example, let them shop for their new lunch bag or backpack.   You can also let your child decorate their own name tags for their belongings.  A great craft kit for this project is "Shrinky Dinks" which can be found at many crafts stores.  Another suggestion, is to get a large desk calendar.  Mark off the times of the days they are in school.  Then let your child decorate on the calendar both the times they are in school and the times they are at home with stickers, crayons, markers etc.  This will give them a visual sense of proportion to the day, weeks etc. and make them feel a little more in control of the upcoming schedule.  The important thing is to make all of your preparations fun.  In other words, taking them shopping for fall clothes is probably not the best way to get them excited!

 

A fun trip to the new classroom to meet the new teacher and familiarize both you and your child with the classroom is always a good idea.   Remember your attitude means everything to your child.   If you are excited, happy, and upbeat your child will be too.   Make sure you ask your new teacher the following questions:   1-what are the drop-off and pick-up routines.  2-what supplies and personal items should you bring for your child.  3-where should you put your child's belongings the first day.  This will dramatically reduce first day stress. 

 

It is also very important for parents to keep a very tight routine for the first few weeks of school so that their children will know what to expect.  While children do not have a sense of time continuum, they absolutely do understand routine and thrive on it.  Therefore, it is very important that your family's daily  routine stay the same as your child adjusts to the new school year.  The emotional goal here is to show and prove to your child that the one thing that matters to them the most will NEVER change.  That is that mommy or daddy always come back after school is over.  To do this, you need to physically prove to them as the daily sequence of events keep occurring the same way that  you in turn will be back to get them at the end of the day.  Pick-ups and drop-offs should be at the same exact time every day for the first few weeks.  For children in all child care this is very important, because most working parents have commuting schedules.  Your child will start to gauge when you are coming to pick them up based on which children have left already.   If you think there is a chance that you will be later then usual during the first weeks of school, it is best to come at that later time every day until your child has adjusted.  For children who are really having a hard time adjusting, I suggest going to extremes with a routine.  For example, on school days have the same breakfast, the same special nutritious snack and believe it or not the same clothes.  If that is what it takes the first few weeks, I say do it!  If your child is most comfortable in a certain "favorite" outfit.  Then let them wear it, and wash it every single night so they can wear it again the next day until they are comfortable. 

 

In the process of planning your routine, parents should pay particular attention to drop-off and pick-up times,  It is important that you are prepared at drop-off.  Make sure you have everything you need before you enter the classroom and likewise everything (including your car keys) when you leave the room.  Drop-off time should be fast and easy.  Leaving and coming back in to the room several times will only confuse your child because they will always wonder if you are still just outside the door.  Even though, it might seem easier if your child is upset to "sneak out", ALWAYS say goodbye to your child.  Remember you are demonstrating to them a definitive trusting routine without any doubt.  Don't give them a chance to wonder if you are gone, show them respect and let them know you are leaving.

 

Pick-up times are equally important to helping your child adjust.  The important thing about pick-up time is that it is an opportunity for you to share your child's day.  Rushing in and taking them out without any hesitation will be counter productive.  You need to demonstrate to them that you like their school too, that you are still apart of their life even when they are at school and most importantly that you are proud and happy that they are in that school and classroom.  This will only enhance their love for being at school and certainly enhance their learning experiences.  As long as you are not interrupting a lesson in progress, when you enter the room take off your coat, sit down with your child if they are in an activity and engage your child's friends too.  Ask the children what they did today and look at the art work on the walls.  You only need to spend a few minutes, but you will be amazed at how much those few minutes will mean to your child and their future feelings about their school. 

 

As parents, caregivers and teachers we need to watch our children for clues to how they are feeling emotionally during times of change.   It is hard to grow up, take on new challenges and leave old routines and habits behind.   Communication between home and school is very important during this time.  We might all need to adjust and put in extra special effort to help ease stressful periods in our children's lives.   However, once your child is familiar with the routine and knows what to expect they will happily branch of independently to enjoy their friends, teachers and the fun learning at school.  We need to prove to them that they can trust us and instill in them a sense of control by assuring their needs are met before they become out of control emotionally.    I have had children come to school over and over again as Batman, Buzz Lightyear, a princess (for a whole year) and many other characters.  Many have carried blankets, bunnies, "babies" and other comfort items, including a plastic coffee mug.  None of that matters.   The only important thing is that your child feels comfortable, loved and likes to come to school because that is the catalyst for future learning success.

Bernadette Tardio is Rainbow Academy's on-line expert for early childhood development and education.  Also known as "Ask Bernadette," her blog, which can be found at www.rainbowacademy.com, allows parents to speak directly with a seasoned childcare pro, who creates the home-away-from-home atmosphere Rainbow Academy is known for.