kelly grace smith

July 13, 2011

 

In Evolution - being more of you:   

 

Not for women only: bodies, breasts & belief  

 


I stood in line beside a lovely young woman in Starbucks
recently. Her physical body fit the description of the "ideal
American woman;" she was blond, blue-eyed, and quite thin,
with long legs, a petite frame...

...and very large breasts.

I'm not a betting woman, but if I was, I'd bet that she has breast
implants. "Not that there's anything wrong with that." (As they
used to say on Seinfeld!)

Sincerely, I have no judgment about breast implants; but when
the size of the implants doesn't seem to fit a woman's frame or body type, I can't help but notice!

I'll be really up front about this (no pun intended!); I would love
to have larger breasts. Breasts like say...Kim Kardashian.

By the way, Kim Kardashian and I do share one attribute.
Really! Uhhhh, ummm...our height. (Work with me here!!)

I too, am 5'2" tall. Perhaps like Kim, I would look good with large
breasts, but I won't ever find out. Why? Because though I would love to have larger breasts, I have absolutely no desire to have implants in my body. Larger breasts are out for me, at least in
this lifetime!

So, other than baring my...ummm...soul...what's the point of
all this?

Beauty - desirability - is what you believe it is. If you believe
beauty is what society tells you it is, you may be limiting your
experience and diminishing your self-worth.

The problem is that you're "thinking" what beauty is, not feeling
or experiencing what beauty is...for you.

Seriously, our mind is so inundated with media and marketing
messages about what is supposedly desirable, we don't have
the opportunity to fully experience and explore what
genuinely
appeals to us.

Young girls are exposed to hundreds of thousands of messages about their bodies and their sexuality before they're even teenagers. They often have lots of beliefs about their body
and
their sexuality, without ever actually experiencing their
own sexuality and intrinsic sexual intelligence.

Young boys are socialized and culturalized to more ardently value the visual and the physical, rather than the emotional and the intrinsic.

As a result of all this, both men and women are experiencing less
than fulfilling sex lives. Why? Because we have accepted media
and marketing paradigms about what is desirable; which is almost
never attainable, nor genuinely fulfilling.

Of the 390,000 breast implant procedures in the U.S. each year,
only 90,000 of those represent reconstructive surgery due to
breast diseases. Just last month, doctors recommended that
women with breast implants have them removed and replaced every 10 years or so.

That's a whole lot of time, energy, money - and pain - to endure
in order to meet an illusory and ever-changing standard of beauty and desirability.

In the meantime, statistics released just last week revealed the
incidence of eating disorders (not including obesity) in women
over 35 has increased 42% in the last 10 years.

Grown women are starving their bodies and surgically making
their breasts larger? Does this sound healthy to you?

Truth be told, I share one other attribute with Kim Kardashian...
I have a "booty."

However, when I was her age, (which was a while ago!) having a
shapely "booty" was not an especially desirable physical characteristic. At that time, a lesser "booty" was considered more desirable. (Just my luck!).

Remember several years ago when waif-thin was in?

Then it was athletic bodies and rock-hard abs.

Now it's booty and biceps.

Bottom line? (No pun intended!)

What our society considers the "ideal" female physique...is
always
changing. (This can be true for men, too.)

Whether you are a man or a woman, being desired - wanted -
for how you look, rather than who you "be," is a set-up for disappointment, dysfunction, illusion, failure, and lack of
genuine intimacy, self-worth, and fulfillment.

In turn, desiring someone for how they look - what they "do,"
or how much money they make - is the same set-up for failure.

I'm sure you're wondering why I'm telling you all this when it
seems so obvious. And yet the reality is that instead of resolving the issues of our heart, mind, and emotions...we're using (and abusing) our bodies with everything from botox, breast implants, and Viagra to steroids, starvation, and substance abuse.

If we don't truly learn to love our own self well, how can we love
others well? How can we succeed in relationship?

Thank God I finally got mature and wise enough to recognize
that - at least according to society's ever-changing standards -
I would never have the "ideal" body type.

Which then allowed me to truly embrace my body - fully and
freely - flaws and all.

And that was...magic.

Because then I could see, feel, and experience my beauty,
my sensuality, my strength, my ecstasy, my eroticism, my
intrinsic physical intelligence...and my full sexual power.

Now my body supports and empowers me...every day...in
many different ways.

Larger breasts might have been nice. But, I'm pretty sure - at
least for me - that authentic acceptance of my own body has provided me with a more powerful, profound, and precious gift
than larger breasts ever could.

Want support with your body image? With your sexuality?
Go to...http://www.kellygracesmith.com/products/coaching.php


    

 

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