kelly grace smith

May 6, 2011

 

In Evolution - being more of you:   

 

The grown-up's table

  

I grew up in a large Irish Catholic extended family. So, at holiday time there was always a kid's table and a grown-up's table. My cousins and I all aspired to be "promoted" to the grown-up's table. It was as though being elevated to the grown-up's table would automatically bestow wisdom and maturity upon you; kind of like being knighted by the Queen.

As I look around our society today, I see lots of people who lay
claim to the title of "grown-up," but who don't actually meet the
job criteria...if you get my meaning.

What is a grown-up anyway?

I suppose if being a grown-up means you've aged, had
experiences, and held down some responsibility...then anyone
over 30 qualifies.

I would assert however, that how you age, whether you've
learned and grown from your experiences, and the sincerity
and integrity
with which you've executed your responsibilities...
speaks more directly to the question of whether or not you are a mature adult.

We've come to believe that if someone has money, power,
and "success," they're an adult. This is an illusion. Just because
someone has money, power, and success does not mean they
possess wisdom, balance, well-being, or emotional maturity. Witness Glenn Beck, Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, Sarah Palin,
and Charlie Sheen...just to name a few.

If you followed the news this past week, you saw a real grown-up
in action.

As I am sure you have surmised by now, I am a strong supporter
of the President. I'm not a fan, a follower, or a hero-worshipper.
And I don't agree with all of his decisions, or all of his policies. I support him strongly because I have seen that he is a powerful, positive, and productive leader who possesses all the necessary
skill sets to lead well. And, unlike so many leaders these days,
he is a grown-up.

President Obama is emotionally mature, well-balanced, intelligent,
measured, open...and he maintains his sense of humor. He
connects well to people, is grounded to actual reality, and is unafraid to be himself.

Last week President Obama released his long-form birth
certificate in an effort to end "silly season" (again) and re-focus
the nation on what is important. He did so with directness,
humor, and grace.

He also delivered a very humorous, wise, and self-deprecating
speech at the White House Correspondents dinner (see
www.Huffingtonpost.com). He was relaxed, funny, and bold.

And then, as Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the
United States of America, he presided over the successful
execution of a daring and dangerous raid in Abbottabad, Pakistan which ended in the death of Osama bin Laden.

You need only to look at the pained expression on the face of
our President - in the now infamous photo of our national security team in the White House Situation Room Sunday night - to see
and know the reality and the responsibility that goes along
with possessing a seat at the grown-up's table.

President Obama is a grown-up. A real one. Not a perfect one;
but a genuine one.

As for the actions, behavior, maturity, and leadership abilities
exhibited by Donald Trump last week? You decide.

My point?

We now live in a rapidly changing, increasingly challenging
world...every single day. It's time to separate the men from
the boys.

Or, to put it in a more gender neutral way...time to separate the
real grown-ups from the pseudo-grown-ups. And, it's up to you
and me to be able discern this.

We choose who leads us.
We decide our direction.
We determine our future.

The Buddhists have an expression, "take your seat." It means to
sit properly - and proudly - for your meditation. It means to take your seat and literally "be" all of who you are.

So, what can you do about the disparaging, discouraging,
disrespectful rhetoric, racism, manipulation, paranoia, and conspiracy theories that seem to be spreading like a contagion?

Take your seat at the grown-up's table; be all of who you
are...today.

More next time.

    
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(For more about the concepts in this message, visit www.kellygracesmith.com.)

 

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