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Resource
Here is a link to an exercise that can be done individually or in a group that provides a way of looking at the history of one's life through the lens of important "landmarks" and "landmines."
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A Note from Nancy Gordon
Director of California Lutheran Homes Center for Spirituality and Aging
Greetings!,
I hope you are enjoying the spring--my Facebook friends reported in March that it was snowing in Oregon and Washington and it was 80 degrees in Chicago--illustrating the changeability and unpredictability of this season. We all know there is a lot of change and unpredictability in working with older adults--but there are continuities as well. Part of our task as spiritual caregivers is to help our older adult friends see the unique continuities and characteristics of their lives and to go forward with strength and courage. May you continue your work with strength and courage and many blessings in this spring.
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Identifying Marks
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| Driving the freeways of Southern California I've noticed the various ways that cars are marked to give some sense of their owners' identities, loves and passions. The first and most obvious are the license plates themselves. A license plate I saw a few weeks ago--LFT CHCGO --made me wonder about what that person's story had in common with my story of moving from Chicago to California. That's what these license plates do; they invite us to wonder about the stories and the lives of the drivers of these cars.
Another way that car owners mark their vehicles is with decals--often indicating the composition of their family with pictures of a mom, dad and children. Other car owners show their pets. And then there are the memorial decals--with a name and birth and death dates. When I see such a decal, I know there is a family with a huge hole in its heart.
The older adults we work with and for don't usually come with a license plate or a decal to give us clues to their history. And sometimes we see what they have in common--grey hair, glasses, other assistive devices--and don't see their "identifying" characteristics. But if we look closely and listen carefully, we begin to see the range of passions and interests, loves and losses that differentiate each one from the others. We have the opportunity to hear their stories of leavings and arrivings; we have the privilege of learning of the losses and gains that have marked their journeys.
Part of spiritual caregiving is being able to hear each person's story and recognize the uniqueness and blessing of that person's life. And more than just hearing their story, we can help them come to new appreciations of their own life journey by acting as witnesses to their lives at a time when many of their witnesses are gone. We can also help them see some new identifiers to their uniqueness that perhaps they hadn't recognized or hadn't had time to develop in their busier years.
One of the joys of working with older adults is seeing them explore new options and learn new things. I'll never forget the 90 year-old former obstetric nurse who walked into our arts and crafts room and announced that she was there to learn how to do china painting. That totally new activity became the most meaningful part of her life in a very short time. She loved it.
In this season of change and growth let's look at the older adults we serve with eyes of care--watching for those current and future identifiers of their uniqueness and cheering them on in the living of their lives to the fullest extent possible.
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A Response to the "Having Fun" Issue
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| A Note from Diana Meinhold
I am a professional fiduciary. My clients are 75-91 years of age. Life indeed becomes quite serious for these individuals (and for me) because physical
 | Let Fun Begin!
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and/or mental issues and financial concerns often dictate a daily regimen of doctors' appointments and fiscal uncertainty. However, what I have started with my clients is "Friday Funday." Since many doctors don't even have office hours on Fridays or quit by noon, I don't schedule appointments for my clients on Fridays. Instead we reserve that day for something that each client finds enjoyable--manicures, pedicures, walks at the beach, a favorite restaurant outing, a friendly visit or visitor, listening to Big Band or sacred music. So now my clients know they always have something "fun" to look forward to at the end of the week--that makes the needle sticks, the stethoscopes, dental whirring all somehow more tolerable and non-intrusive in their lives. Now, if only yours truly could figure out how to enforce "Funday" for myself, all would be right with the world. My thanks to Diana for her note. How are you doing on having fun? Please share your thoughts and ideas about how we can better serve older adults by emailing me at csadirector@frontporch.net. Click here to read the original article. |
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Notes on What I've Been Reading
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| Agewise: Fighting the New Ageism in America (University of Chicago Press, 2011)  is a very readable, thought-provoking book by cultural critic Margaret Morganroth Gullette. She points to the culture of decline that characterizes aging in our culture and posits that those of us growing older fight this characterization of aging as much as we do aging itself. Covering topics from Hurricane Katrina, plastic surgery, the recent economic meltdown, and learnings from her mother's dementia, Gullette urges us to look for and proclaim narratives of progress even as life is winding down.
Memoirs of the Soul: A Writing Guide by Nan Merrick Phifer (Ingot Press, 2010) provides a non-chronological guide to writing about one's life in a way that mak es it a record of one's spiritual journey and makes the writing of it a spiritual experience. The author is interested not so much in an autobiographical record, but is interested in "the hours and minutes that are keen in our lives--the times when we are most alive, when experiences penetrate to the quick. In these moments we define ourselves; the ways we respond reveal our souls." Each chapter contains warm-up writing prompts, longer writing prompts and examples and has suggestions for use in a group or with a writing partner. An excellent resource for individuals or groups who are willing to make a commitment to writing and reflecting on their lives.
The Long Hello: The Other Side of Alzheimer'sby Cathie Borrie (Nightwing  Press, 2010). Cathie Borrie tells the story of her mother's journey with Alzheimer's disease in this memoir that reflects upon the hidden and often painful treasures of a life well lived: the shadows and joys of childhood, the relationships that leave us both illuminated and bereft; the love, longing and loss that surge to the fore when a parent is diminished. Borrie makes the unusual decision to hear her mother's words as a form of poetry that communicate volumes, even if the words seem disconnected. This decision leads her to new appreciations of her mother and the ability to stay present and connected with her as she journeyed down the Alzheimer's road. Cathie created a is a smaller volume of her mother's spoken "poetry" with Looking into Your Voice (Nightwing Press, 2010). Both provide an alternative way of listening to and being with those in the midst of Alzheimer's and other dementias.
The Broken Jar by Daniel C. Potts (Wayward Press, 2oo6) is another book produced by the author's experience of a parent with Alzheimer's disease. Daniel Potts, a practicing neurologist, combines his poetry with paintings his father produced while a participant in a "Caring Days" adult day program for persons with dementia. Dr. Potts' poetry sprang from the crucible of his dad's diagnosis, triggering memories and reflections upon their lives and faith. His dad's paintings are vibrant with color and while the detail diminishes as the disease progresses, they are eloquent expressions of a person still creating and communicating. Paintings and poetry together express the family journey of Alzheimer's and how there are gifts even in this journey.
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