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Kindness Resources
on the Web
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A Kindness Book
| | The Power of Kindness; The Unexpected Benefits of Leading a Compassionate Life by Piero Ferrucci is a jewel of a book on kindness. In very readable chapters the author makes the case for the benefits of kindness for our own lives and unpacks the various dimensions of kindness. There are numerous paragraphs that would make wonderful opening thoughts for on-going staff meetings and chapters that could be adapted for in-service trainings.
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A Note from Nancy Gordon
Director of California Lutheran Homes Center for Spirituality and Aging
Welcome to the new look of the Spirit e-newsletter.
It's been a fun challenge to learn the capacities of this new format. It is now more interactive with direct links and on-line registration capabilities. Please enjoy this edition of Spirit.
Blessings to you in your work with older adults.
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Creating Communities of Care: "Be Kind Anyway"
| | My brother, two years younger than me, did not like to be told what to do; I was the bossy older sister. Needless to say we had many arguments and sometimes actual fights when were children. In the midst of one of our heated exchanges Mom would stop us and then say: "Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another. . . " This was the King James version of a verse from the Book of Ephesians in the New Testament. We knew what she was going to say the moment she started. And I must confess that her words weren't welcome--we really didn't feel much kindness at that moment.
"Be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving . . . " As an adult I've come to realize how important these words are for our lives. They are simple words, but difficult to put into practice. When practiced though, however imperfectly, what a difference these attitudes, habits of heart and conduct can make in a community.
In recent years the field of aging has been thinking about a strength based approach to care--we focus on the strengths and abilities the elders in our care still possess. In light of this, I'm wondering if a multi-faceted focus on kindness wouldn't be a proactive way of responding to an environment that seems to be becoming more negative and contentious. And in reality almost every older person still has the ability to choose to be kind. They just may need some encouragement, some modeling and some ideas.
We could begin with a focus on kindness with our staff--from top to bottom and back again. Perhaps you could invite your staff and your residents to make short reports of staff caught being kind. Maybe staff meetings could be opened with stories of kindness given or received, and a thought or two on kindness to set the tone and be a reminder. Encouraging kindness is one way to emphasize the importance of each person's contribution to the spirit of the workplace and to their care for one another. And an axiom that bears repeating and remembering as we work together: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. " ~Plato
After the staff catches practicing kindness, invite the residents to join in. How can you inspire them to kindness? How can you lift up and recognise the acts of kindness that residents do for one another? If you have a chaplain or other spiritual leaders, can you ask them to focus on kindness in their work with residents? Victor Frankl says that one way that we can impart meaning to our lives is by choosing our attitude. When you provide ways and places for your residents and participants to practice kindness you are encouraging a choice in attitude that will enrich and bring meaning to their lives.
There is a song by the Roches that starts with
People are often unreasonable, illogical,
and self-centered;
Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, People may accuse you
of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.
World kindness day is November 13, and World Kindness Week is November 8-13. What can you do this month to promote kindness, forgiveness and tenderness of heart? And how can you nurture a community that is "kind anyway?"
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| Fall Educational Events | | Telling and Hearing the Stories of Life: A Life Review Workshop
November 10, 2010, 8:30 a.m.- 4:00 p.m.
Walnut Village Retirement Community
891 S Walnut Street
Anaheim, CA 92802
Co-sponsored by the California Lutheran Homes Center for Spirituality and Aging and ENSA (Ecumenical Network for Spirituality and Aging)
Life review provides an opportunity for elders to reflect on life as it's been lived, recognize its gifts and meanings and to share findings with friends and families. This workshop will offer reflections by experienced practitioners and provide tools and resources for developing a life review program in your setting.
Plenary Speakers   Dr. Jim Birren, a living legend in the field of gerontology, and co-author of Telling the Stories of Life through Guided by Autobiography will be joined by Cheryl Svensson, who has many years of teaching guided autobiography through the Osher Lifelong Learning Institute at Cal State University Fullerton, for the first plenary on "The Impersonal Age: Creating Communities through Life Story." They will also present a workshop on "Intergener-ational Life Story Groups: Mixing it up with Students and Seniors."
Beth Sanders, CEO and co-founder of LifeBio, speaks on "Life Stories Unleashed: The Power of Memories and Experiences to Change Us," sharing stories of people she's met through her work in LifeBio and the encouragem ent and empowerment she's experienced through the sharing of life stories. Sanders will also be a part of the "Life Story in Retirement Communities: The Front Porch Experience" workshop. Other Workshops to Choose From "Connecting the Sacred Story and Ours" "Facilitating Ethical Wills as Gift and Legacy" "Life Story in the Congregation: Ministry and Outreach" The Day Ends With a conversation between Dr. Jim Birren and the Rev. Doug Edwards reflecting on the themes of the day, followed by a reception honoring Dr. Birren for his contributions to the field.
Cost and CE Certificates
Event Fee: $65 (includes lunch and reception). CE Certificate, $20.
Approved for NHAP, BBS, BRN & RCFE (6 CE units)
Click here for more information and to register. |
Cupertino Event
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Music and Words to Live By: Creativity and Spiritual Care
November 18, 2010, 8:30 a.m.- 4:00 p.m.
Sunny View Retirement Community
22445 Cupertino Road
Cupertino, CA 95014
Music evokes creativity and has the power to connect people spiritually. Please join us for an exploration of the healing wonders of music. Judith-Kate Friedman, founder of Songwriting Works™ and Psalms, Songs and Stories™ will share principles and practices of music composition and performance with seniors in this lively and inspiring seminary. Come and see how you can use the power of music to enhance your caregiving experience.
Cost and CE Certificates
Event Fee: $65 (includes continental breakfast and lunch). CE Certificate, $20.
Approved for NHAP/P, BBS, BRN & RCFE (6 CE units).
To Register
Click here for online registration. For more information contact Marsha Wells, Sunny View Foundation at at 408-454-5625. Registration deadline is Friday, November 12.
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| 4th Annual International Conference on Positive Aging |
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Exploring Positive Aging: Designing Practice and Advancing Knowledge
Hosted by: Fielding Graduate University--Institute for Social Innovation
December 7-10, 2010
Center for Nonprofit Management
1000 N. Alameda Street
Los Angeles, CA 90012
Positive Aging involves taking control of one's life, being active in the community, engaging with others, building close relationships, and seeking meaning and purpose. The 4th Annual International Aging Conference is an interactive gathering of diverse leaders in the field of aging who are shaping a dynamic future for older adults throughout the world. Keynote speaker is Marc Freedman, CEO of Civic Ventures. Plenary speakers include Ardie Bryant, a professional dancer speaking on creativity; Dr. George Vaillant, psychiatrist speaking on community; W. June Simmons, health care professional speaking on wellness and Nancy Anderson, life consultant speaking on life transitions.
Click here for more information and to register.
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| "Breathe a Prayer" Retreats | | Lloyd Young, Presenter
Mary and Joseph Retreat Center
5300 Crest Road
Rancho Palos Verdes, CA 90275
Caregivers as Companions in Prayer
Tuesday, November 9, 2010, 9:30 a.m. - 1 p.m.
Cost: $20 ($17 if paid in full by November 2, 2010) (Includes lunch)
This retreat is designed to spiritually strengthen caregivers and to give them a simple way of being in prayer with those they are caring for. Appropriate for those who work in hospice care, hospital and retirement residences, family caregivers and parish pastoral care givers and volunteers.
For Those Who Mourn - Breathe a Prayer
Tuesday, November 16, 2010, 9:30 a.m. - 1 p.m.
Cost: $20 ($17 if paid in full by November 9, 2010) (Includes lunch)
This retreat is offered to those who have experienced deep personal loss. We seek to deepen awareness of the Lord's healing presence and listen for the Spirit's whispered word.
Lloyd Young is an experienced contemplative retreat leader who is passionate about introducing others to "Breathe a Prayer" and also equipping ordinary people to be prayer companions.
To register, call Irma Manley at 310-377-4867, ext. 234.
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| Best Practices Award for CSA Alzheimer's Worship Program | |
The California Lutheran Homes Center for Spirituality and Aging (CLH CSA) received '2010 Best Practices Meritorious Award' from the National Interfaith Coalition on Aging. These awards recognize the most creative programs and initiatives in the areas of Alzheimer's and dementia care presented in houses of worship, community centers and other settings. CLH CSA was recognized for its worship program called, Sensing the Sacred: Small Group Worship for those with Alzheimer's and Other Dementias. The program is in development for use at retirement communities owned and managed by Front Porch, Southern California's largest non-profit provider of retirement living and affordable housing communities.
"Older people suffering memory loss benefit from large group worship with its rituals, prayers, songs and sense of community, but a traditional sermon, with its dependence on words and concepts many times does not effectively communicate with this audience," said Nancy Gordon, CLH CSA director. "This worship experience uses all senses to deliver the message."
To create a multi-sensory worship experience for people with Alzheimer's and related dementias, Gordon adapted to a senior audience, a well-tested, Montessori-based children's worship program that uses wooden figures to tell biblical stories as the "sermon" part of worship. The story, not the storyteller is the focus of attention and provides a way for participants to have an experience with God rather than learn about God in the traditional sense.
"This worship program reflects the values of connectedness --helping people with Alzheimer's or dementia connect with themselves, with others and with God," Gordon said. "It nurtures their wholeness by attending to their spiritual needs in a way that meets them where they are, rather than expecting them to fit into a normal service or ignoring those needs altogether."
"This unique worship experience truly addresses the spiritual needs of those struggling with memory loss," said Gary Wheeler, president and CEO of California Lutheran Homes and Community Services. "This is exactly why CLH created and supports the Center--to help fulfill CLH's mission of service to seniors and those in need."
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| Koepke Honored at Aging in America Conference | |
Rev. Donald Koepke, director emeritus and founding director of the California Lutheran Homes Center for Spirituality and Aging, received the '2010 Spirituality and Aging Award' in March at the Aging in America co-conference of the American Society on Aging (ASA) and the National Council on Aging (NCOA). The award came from the National Interfaith Coalition on Aging (NICA), a constituent interest group of the NCOA. Since 1981, the award has been given annually to a person who has made outstanding contributions that support spiritual well-being for older adults.
From its creation in 2001 until 2008, Koepke served as director of the CLH Center for Spirituality and Aging, a program that educates caregivers and others about spirituality as it is experienced in the aging process. During his tenure, Koepke created and led a series of 'Spiritual Care Basics' seminars for those working with older adults in congregations and congregate living settings. He co-authored and edited a book on older adult ministry development: Ministering with Older Adults: The Building Blocks. He also wrote and edited Spirit and Spirit for Congregations, e-newsletters on spirituality and aging published for healthcare professionals and for congregational leaders, respectively.
"Rev. Koepke is known for his collaborative style, solid conceptual thinking and ground-breaking achievements in the field of spirituality and aging," said Dr. Rita K. Chow, NICA director. "It is remarkable to consider all Don has accomplished through the Center in the past 10 years," said Gary Wheeler, president and CEO of California Lutheran Homes and Community Services. "He has brought great insight to his colleagues and he has succeeded in fostering practical ways to bring attention to the need for focus on spiritual care as an important part of caring for the whole person."
"It has been my great honor to have had the opportunity to be the first director of CLH CSA," Koepke said. "Through NICA, I also cherish my relationship with people around the country who explore the interchange between an older person's spirituality and their experience of aging. Older adults are the most spiritually alive people I have ever encountered. Perhaps this is because the confrontation with the challenges of growing older evokes deeply spiritual questions such as 'How can I find meaning in life?' or 'Am I still a person of value?' or 'What is to become of me now?' Aging is essentially a spiritual journey that is driven by the physiological, sociological and psychological experience of growing old."
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