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This is the last week of daily devotionals for the Live Like You Were Dying worship series. We would greatly value your time in completing a brief survey to provide feedback for this series and the daily devotionals to help us evaluate the desire for future devotinal series. Click here to complete survey. |
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Proverbs 19:11
"Those with good sense are slow to anger, and it is their glory to overlook an offense."
So what really happens when you practice forgiveness? So often we think that forgiveness will make everything better, people will be nice to each other again, and the tears will stop flowing. In the 'best' cases of forgiveness, a genuine feeling of "I'm OK and you're OK and we're OK together" exists. But, that is not always how forgiveness works. Forgiveness takes many forms and results in many outcomes. But one thing is true in forgiveness. When you practice forgiveness - you release others from your judgment - you liberate them from your anger, frustration, even your hate. Sir Walter Scott has a fantastic quote that talks about revenge - when we hunger for justice against our offender. Scott says revenge is, "the sweetest morsal to the mouth that was ever cooked in hell." If hell is anyway that we are separated from God, then think about what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is anyway that we are connected to God.
Think about it like this, you are never more like God and we are never more glorious than when we forgive.
Forgiveness is a choice and we have to actively work at forgiving. The same held true when we talked about loving deeply. And, as in yesterday's devotion, we have to learn how to remember differently when we practice forgiveness. But when we do forgive, we are acting as the face of God in the world.
Forgiveness is relinquishing my right to hurt you for hurting me. It is letting go of my right to get even. It means releasing, not re-living my hurts.
Now, often times as a pastor, I get the question that goes something like this, "How do I forgive someone who physically abused me? Does that mean I re-enter the relationship?" My response to this question is usually something like this. First of all, make sure you are safe. Do whatever you need to do so that your safety, or the safety of others is your number one priority. But living safely does not mean living fearfully. Forgiveness means giving up the pain that came with that situation, believing that you deserve better and hoping the best for yourself and for your offender. Forgiveness in these kinds of situations can take a lot of time - months or even years. Secondly, forgiveness is not reconciliation. Forgiveness does not always end in reconciliation. Reconciliation is a coming together of two warring parties. Reconciliation is when two parties agree collectively that they experienced brokenness in their relationship and they both strive to make amends, to repair the damage done.
I share a personal story of practicing forgiveness. My husband and I are parents of two small children. My daughter is 3 ½ and my son is almost two. (For those of you who have older children, please spare me this analogy!)They have their fair share of fights over toys and attention. We struggled with disciplining them beyond a simple time out when they fought with one another. How do you teach forgiveness and reconciliation to little ones who don't know English at an advanced level? They needed time away from their activity to realize that they'd done wrong, but they also needed to know that they'd hurt someone else in the process. We stuck with the time out and added something else. After time out was finished, they had to go over to the one that they'd hurt, say they were sorry and give a hug. The one who had been hurt had to hug back. As they grow in years and language development, I hope to teach them the words and actions of forgiveness AND reconciliation.
Forgiveness looks differently at different times in life and in different situations. The important thing to remember is that forgiveness takes work, and by God's grace in our lives, forgiveness is possible.
Think about how you practice forgiveness? How do you liberate someone from your judgment? How do you teach forgivness?
-Pastor Rhonda
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