Matthew 18:21-22 

Then Peter came and said to him, "Lord, if another brother or sister sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times." (New Revised Standard Version)

So often, you hear the three words explaining what it means to forgive.  "Forgive and forget" someone may say to you along the road of life's wisdom.  But what does that really mean - to forgive and forget?

Any of you who have learned about a time in history where violence and injustice ruled for the day would struggle mightily with this phrase "forgive and forget."  Any of you who have experienced deep pain in your own life will struggle with a phrase like this. To forgive and forget implies that the former sin has no impact on our future actions - that we learned nothing from the past suffering.  Taking a second look at this phrase, 'forgive and forget,' begs a deeper definition for forgiveness.  I want to argue that forgiveness means that we remember differently... that there is a strong connection between the power of remembering and forgiveness.

Alexandra Asseily, a woman who was Russian-born and English-raised, married a Lebanese businessman and raised her children in both Great Britain and Lebanon.  Through her global experience of living in war-torn countries, religious pluralism and religious suppression, she became aware of the effects of memory riddled with pain.  She soon realized that decisions made out of memories of a painful history only brought about a painful, violent-filled future.  She realized that holding on to hurt and disappointment stunted the growth and healing of the greater community. Alexandra offers a way of remembering through forgiveness.  A quote taken from the website www.thepowerofforgiveness.org speaks of a way of forgiving and yet honoring memory.

"If we let go of the pain in the memory, we can still have the memory, but it doesn't control us." Alexandra Asseily

Does pain from your memories control you? So often we think that when we forgive, we are giving up our control over a certain situation. We think that if we forgive 'that person' - they win.  We want to protect ourselves so that we never get hurt like that again.

But forgiveness isn't giving up control over ourselves; forgiveness is freedom for us to go on living.  Jesus urges Peter in Matthew 18 to forgive - to be free from the burden of holding on to painful moments.  Jesus urges Peter to forgive often, too.  We could argue from the story in Matthew 18 that Jesus wants us to be generous with forgiveness.

When you remember memories that were painful, what happens to you? Do you feel paralyzed or vulnerable?

What would happen if you let go of the pain in the memory? How could you remember it differently? How would your heart be opened for God's healing?

Weekly Faith Talk Starters

• If you knew that you had only 9 more days to live, what relationships in your life would you need to repair?
• What rocks of bitterness and resentment do you need Jesus to remove from you?
• Whose sin debt do you need to forgive so that you might be liberated to celebrate the incredible forgiveness that is yours in Christ Jesus?

Prayer of the Week
God of amazing grace, we praise and thank you for the endless mercy and unlimited forgiveness that you have given to us in Christ Jesus.  Help us to celebrate each day the eternal pardon of our enormous sin debt that is ours through Jesus' sacrifice for us on the cross.  And in response to your amazing love, empower us to liberate others from their debt of sin as we choose to forgive them for the sake of our suffering Savior.  Amen.