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How about a Renaissance for the art of conversation? A re-birth of wonder!
It's time. I've heard from hundreds of my subscribers who hunger for quality conversation but have trouble finding good conversationalists.
John Naisbitt, who wrote the landmark book Megatrends (1981) predicted "The more high-tech we have, the more high-touch we will want."
With respect to the art of conversation, we have moved into a new kind of Dark Ages that could be called the "Hash-Mark Ages" in which texting often
displaces face-time communication. When the mother of a college student wants to talk to her daughter, the daughter says "Text me, Mom!" (But Mom wants to hear her daughter's voice, the emotional tone of which conveys a lot. Text can conceal, but the voice does reveal.
As a study by J.D. Powers Associates (2011) showed, "Instead of talking, Americans are becoming more reliant on text messages: U.S. customers send and receive an average of 39 text messages during an average two-day period, or almost 600 texts per month."
A Nielsen study last year found that teenagers are the heaviest SMS users, exchanging an average of 3339 texts per month, or six messages per waking hour." So, there is lots of digital communication going on, but far less full-spectrum face to face (or voice to voice) communication.
As well, the average person watches at least 3 hours of television each day. If you're sitting in front of the tube, you're watching, not talking.
Then we have, video games, to which some folks are actually addicted. Hours and hours spent this way.
It's no small wonder that many people suffer from "talk hunger." We human beings are social animals. Just as we need water, air, and food, we also need connections with others. We crave the "real thing" that cannot be communicated electronically.
Therefore, we might be ready for a renaissance of the art of conversation.
What would be required for such a renaissance?
What we learn from the Italian Renaissance:
That Renaissance took place in Europe between 1350 and 1700. This was a time period in which Western Europeans "rediscovered" much of the art, architecture, philosophy, legal principles, and other advancements of the Ancient Greeks and Romans.
So, today, a "re-discovery" is required. Fortunately, this re-discovery is happening.
Example 1: The art of storytelling has re-emerged in the past few decades. Dozens of books have been published on this once-dying art. It's now used extensively in the business world. Among professional speakers, storytelling is a required skill.
Example 2: College classes and seminars have moved away from lecturing to becoming more interactive and conversational. This is called "active learning." (Remember Socrates, Aristotle, and the great teachers of the Renaissance?)
Example 3: Some boomlets of a renaissance have appeared with the "Conversation Cafes"
(www.conversationcafe.org) and "Socrates Cafes" (www.philosopher.org) and the "Feasts of Conversation" that I facilitate, all events that attract people who hunger for meaningful talk.
Example 4: In the worlds of business and the professions, problem-solving meetings have changed from the traditional top down formats to innovative bottom up meetings such "World Cafes," "Knowledge Cafes," and "Appreciative Inquiry." As well, people come together in a variety of "Unconferences" that replacie traditional meetings.
Rolf Jensen of the Copenhagen Institute for Future Studies writes:
"We are in the twilight of a society based on data. As information and intelligence become the domain of computers, society will place more value on the one human ability that cannot be automated: emotion. Imagination, myth, ritual - the language of emotion - will affect everything from our purchasing decisions to how we work with others."
Two catalysts would support a rebirth of the art of conversation.
Catalyst 1: Champions to lead the way.
Today, Theodore Zeldin, an Oxford philosopher and author of "Conversation: How Talk Can Change Our Lives," organizes large "conversation dinners" that attract hundreds of people who engage in meaningful talk with one person they've never met.
Vicki Robin started the "Conversation Caf�" program that meets in some cities in the U.S. and Canada.
Christopher Phillips founded the Socrates Cafes and travels widely to promote the idea that philosophy is something to be lived as part of everyday life.
David Gurteen facilitates his "Knowledge Cafes" for large groups around the world
I myself publish materials, facilitate "Feasts of Conversation," and conduct workshops and seminars on conversation skills.
Would you help ignite a rebirth of the art of conversation in your community? To do this,you just have to be an interested, willing person.
I can support you with tools. Here are two:
Conversation Games: A collection of 35 structured activities for adults that are often inspiring and fun. They can be done with both small and large groups for virtually no cost.
Conversation Coaching Clubs: This program was stalled and put on hold because of some personal challenges, and I'm ready to complete the materials for these skill-building clubs. They require only a host-facilitator and a group of willing, interested people. You don't have to be an "expert."
(Please let me know if you'd consider hosting or facilitating a conversation event.)
Catalyst 2: Financial Resources
To make materials available, to publicize events, and to rent meeting spaces as necessary. (I believe that many of you readers would support this cause with a modest contribution.)
A Retrospective on the "lost" art of conversation
When I was growing up in Wisconsin, I spent many Saturday evenings playing board games with visiting children while my mother and father talked among other parents over coffee and cake. Those conversations were
congenial and enjoyable. Actually, even though they didn't know it, those grownups were actually practicing the art of conversation.
The rebirth of the art of conversation can harken back to those times when the simple act of getting together for the opportunity to talk is enough.
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