If you argue for your limitations, they're yours!
I hear people say about their conversation skills:
"I can't talk to strangers."
"I can't remember names."
"I never know what to say next."
These become self-fulfilling prophecies. They undermine your skills. They sabotage you.
As Henry Ford famously said: "Whether you think you can, or think you can't, you're right!"
Two main sources of limiting self-talk:
- It's learned it early in life, probably from a parent: "Never talk to strangers," which becomes "I can't (or won't) talk to strangers."
- Negative self-talk acts like reasons, but really are excuses, such as when you can't remember the name of someone you met and say "I'm sorry, I just can't remember names."
So here's today's nugget:
Instead of claiming limitations, use some positive, realistic self-talk.
For example,
"I used to avoid talking to strangers, but now that I've done so a few times, I feel more comfortable and I've met some really interesting people."
"I found a simple method for remembering names, and now I'm better at it."
"I no longer worry about what to say next because now I can extend the conversation by asking questions and encouraging others to say more.
If you change both your self-talk, you can change your behaviors so situations will change . . . positively.
Until next time,
Loren
