Public speaking and conversation share 3 main goals: to inform people about things they do not know, to persuade people to believe something or to do something, or to entertain people and make them feel good about themselves.
I have encountered a few participants in my seminars who consider conversation for entertainment to be a waste of time. These are "serious folks." They want only to talk about big ideas and how to solve problems. They like the back and forth of disputation, and they dislike social small talk (and are not good at it, which may be the reason.) They avoid talking about trivia and feel superior to people who spend time just "gabbing."
My view? Fun has a place in life, and an important one. As humorist and speech writer Robert Orben wrote, "If you can get someone to laugh with you, they will be more willing to identify with you, listen to you. It parts the waters."
So today's article is "Conversation for Entertainment"
Here are some of its common forms:
Scintillating small talk
When engaging in this pastime, joking with others can give a "kick" to otherwise mundane talk. Also, using observational humor by commenting on oddities in the situation ("Oh, boy! Noodles again!")
"Banter" means the funny back and forth of small talk, and this may include one-liners like this one by Groucho Marx: "I intend to live forever, or die trying."
Talking about mutual interests
When I was growing up in northern Wisconsin, men talked for hours with great pleasure about fishing and hunting. The new trout flies they tied, the hidden lake with the big bass, the best areas for deer hunting in the fall. Also, they compared which cars were better, and which sports teams would win. All of this talk was entertaining.
Women enjoyed talking about fashions, shopping, and certain household matters like the new drapes they added. Even the gossip ("Would Sally leave Harry?) was entertaining, and the radio soap operas were endlessly fascinating. Although they rarely told jokes (that was a "guy thing,") they laughed a lot when talking, a clear sign they were being entertained and having fun.
Word play
Even little kids love playing with language, as any 6-year-old can demonstrate with silly knock-knock jokes like this one.
"Knock Knock
Who's there?
Abe!
Abe who?
Abe C D E F G H...!"
When a little older, kids entertain one another with puns. "Did you hear about the man who lost his left side? He's all right now." As kids do this, they are developing an "ear" for their language.
Adults may get fancier with made-up or borrowed word play like this rhyme, a play on Shakespeare, said by Richard Needham:
"The seven ages of man:
spills, drills, thrills, bills, ills, pills and wills."
A phrase I created after moving to Las Vegas: When talking to strangers on the phone and they ask where I'm calling from, I sometimes say "I live on the rim of sin," which dependably evokes a chuckle.
Purely for entertainment, folks may toss in aphorisms like these:
"Anybody who thinks talk is cheap should get some legal advice." -Franklin P. Jones
and my favorite, "A fellow who picks a cat up by the tail gets a hundred times as much information as one who's never done it." --Mark Twain
Kidding Others for Entertainment
At class and family reunions, I've heard stories that begin with "Remember the time you . . .?" and then go on to recount someone's foolishness. (Yesterday I witnessed 2 supermarket managers tease a young employee about his hairstyle, and all 3 had a good time with the teasing.) Sometimes it's an honor to be teased - as when a celebrity is "roasted" at a banquet.
"Can You Top This?" (Joke Contests)
Who can get the highest score on the "laugh meter"? Back and forth we go, trying to out-do one another with canned humor - jokes we've memorized and rehearsed. These are low-level stand-up comedy, typically executed by males to entertain dinner guests or their buddies at the bar. Who can out-do whom? (Full disclosure: As a college student, I spent many delightful hours with friends as we each told elaborate jokes.)
"Edutainment" and "Educainment"
These are common terms in the training professions. They denote training that combines fun and humor with serious information. The evidence shows that students learn more when their classes are entertaining.
However, there are times when someone trying to be funny is a distraction. For example, during talk that is appropriately solemn, urgent, or serious. The person who is always "joking around" becomes a nuisance for damaging the tone of the conversation. Just as there are times for pure entertainment, there are many times for "let's get serious."
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Note: Just above the header "Better Conversations Newsletter" at the top of this issue, you'll see a Facebook icon. Clicking on that will take you to your Facebook page. The link to this issue will also appear. You can add a comment and post it so your friends can access this newsletter.
Until next week,
Loren